Power of a Word
I came across this in the book I'm reading right now and thought it a fantastic follow up to my previous blog entry ‘Unlocking the Soul’.
“Some people may wonder: why was the light of God given in the form of language? How is it conceivable that the divine should be contained in such brittle vessels as consonants and vowels? This question betrays the sin of our age: to treat lightly the ether which carries the light-waves of the spirit. What else in the world is as capable of bringing man and man together over the distances in space and in time? Of all things on earth, words alone never die. They have so little matter and so much meaning… God took these Hebrew words and breathed into them of His power, and the words became a live wire charged with His spirit. To this very day they are hyphens between heaven and earth. What other medium could have been employed to convey the divine? Pictures enameled on the moon? Statues hewn out of the Rockies?” –Abraham Heschel
From Eugene Peterson’s ‘Run with the Horses’ on the life and words of the prophet Jeremiah.
“Some people may wonder: why was the light of God given in the form of language? How is it conceivable that the divine should be contained in such brittle vessels as consonants and vowels? This question betrays the sin of our age: to treat lightly the ether which carries the light-waves of the spirit. What else in the world is as capable of bringing man and man together over the distances in space and in time? Of all things on earth, words alone never die. They have so little matter and so much meaning… God took these Hebrew words and breathed into them of His power, and the words became a live wire charged with His spirit. To this very day they are hyphens between heaven and earth. What other medium could have been employed to convey the divine? Pictures enameled on the moon? Statues hewn out of the Rockies?” –Abraham Heschel
From Eugene Peterson’s ‘Run with the Horses’ on the life and words of the prophet Jeremiah.
More from the Women’s Conference
Here are some snippets from one of the teachings.
Ezekiel 36:25-26
We need to clean our heart and let the Spirit work in us.
If we’re sick we go to the hospital but if we are sick spiritually we need to bring it to the church. As your mouth praises, make sure your heart is right. Don’t hide our sins or struggles in our dancing – talk to your sister. We need to let the work of the Spirit be in our lives. Pray for this. Many women in the church like to sing and dance but not to pray. We need to pray.
If there’s a mango tree that’s not doing well we’ll trim it down, add more water and wait for more blooms to come. God wants to cut off the things in us that are bad so we will germinate new things and our fruit can be good. There is no medicine for this – you need time with the Lord. Can’t go to the witchdoctor – He doesn’t know our bodies. He didn’t make us. He doesn’t know how to help us – only God knows.
If you don’t let the Lord break you and clean you of these things now you’ll have problems later.
James 1:22-26 talks about being doers of the Word, not merely hearers. And then she read verse 27: Real religion is this… to look after the widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Sometimes you come to a mountain and you think you can’t climb it, but this is part of your journey. Know that Jesus is still at work. And no one can help but Jesus who died on the cross to help. He did it for you and for me.
And there was power that came as a result of the Word being spoken – there is POWER in the message of the Cross. At this point both interpreters broke down under the presence of the Lord. One of them couldn’t continue and had to be replaced as she quietly stepped back to wipe her tears and collect herself. The teaching continued as another stepped up. And then there was praying.
And then there was dancing ☺
Ezekiel 36:25-26
We need to clean our heart and let the Spirit work in us.
If we’re sick we go to the hospital but if we are sick spiritually we need to bring it to the church. As your mouth praises, make sure your heart is right. Don’t hide our sins or struggles in our dancing – talk to your sister. We need to let the work of the Spirit be in our lives. Pray for this. Many women in the church like to sing and dance but not to pray. We need to pray.
If there’s a mango tree that’s not doing well we’ll trim it down, add more water and wait for more blooms to come. God wants to cut off the things in us that are bad so we will germinate new things and our fruit can be good. There is no medicine for this – you need time with the Lord. Can’t go to the witchdoctor – He doesn’t know our bodies. He didn’t make us. He doesn’t know how to help us – only God knows.
If you don’t let the Lord break you and clean you of these things now you’ll have problems later.
James 1:22-26 talks about being doers of the Word, not merely hearers. And then she read verse 27: Real religion is this… to look after the widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
Sometimes you come to a mountain and you think you can’t climb it, but this is part of your journey. Know that Jesus is still at work. And no one can help but Jesus who died on the cross to help. He did it for you and for me.
And there was power that came as a result of the Word being spoken – there is POWER in the message of the Cross. At this point both interpreters broke down under the presence of the Lord. One of them couldn’t continue and had to be replaced as she quietly stepped back to wipe her tears and collect herself. The teaching continued as another stepped up. And then there was praying.
And then there was dancing ☺
African Rhythm & Dance
At the women’s conference, I have my make-shift drum (a plastic container of almonds), but some songs I don’t even pick it up from next to my chair because I’m struggling to get the hang of the basic clap (that the entire crowd of women is doing, easily). Then I try to add the ‘step’. Sometimes you step-touch on the beat (like Will Smith teaches Albert in Hitch -- really that’s all it was, so why did it feel so complicated?!). Other songs are on the syncopated beat. Challenge!!
“Does EVERY woman in this tent have more rhythm than I??” I think to myself.
Throughout the weekend, each different church group presents the special dance/song that they have prepared. Just before it’s time for the next one, you will see that group of women slip out of the meeting area to prepare. When they return, they are wearing their matching capulanas, singing as they enter, following the leader, and already incorporating dance… 3 steps forward, hesitation step, 2 back…
One of my favorite parts is when so much dust is being kicked up that someone comes in with a bucket of water to sprinkle the dancing area! Right on!
Another great moment is when a woman gets up from the crowd and runs to the front, waving her capulana. She runs in front and among the ones dancing, waving her piece of fabric as a sign of blessing. This is often accompanied by loo-loo-loo’s of other women, whooping it up – usually done after an impressive step move has been displayed. There is so much joy and love and togetherness in this place.
It is truly a house of worship for the Lord of the Dance!
“Does EVERY woman in this tent have more rhythm than I??” I think to myself.
Throughout the weekend, each different church group presents the special dance/song that they have prepared. Just before it’s time for the next one, you will see that group of women slip out of the meeting area to prepare. When they return, they are wearing their matching capulanas, singing as they enter, following the leader, and already incorporating dance… 3 steps forward, hesitation step, 2 back…
One of my favorite parts is when so much dust is being kicked up that someone comes in with a bucket of water to sprinkle the dancing area! Right on!
Another great moment is when a woman gets up from the crowd and runs to the front, waving her capulana. She runs in front and among the ones dancing, waving her piece of fabric as a sign of blessing. This is often accompanied by loo-loo-loo’s of other women, whooping it up – usually done after an impressive step move has been displayed. There is so much joy and love and togetherness in this place.
It is truly a house of worship for the Lord of the Dance!
It is a battle
[Sept 23] I was headed to bed, but as I returned to the hallway to turn off the final light I got caught by the sound coming through the open windows -- drums in the night. Witchdoctor drums, drums to summon evil spirits drums. I heard stories about these drums last year when I was here. Today I uncovered a CRI newsletter written by Noemia in Sept 07 that I had stuck in my luggage - she had written a story about these drums. But until tonight, I had never heard them for myself.
The sound carries through the night air along with the occasional whistle of a train. I wonder how people in that part of town can sleep, it must be loud. The beat sounds intense and commanding. I resist my natural urge to try and pick up their rhythm. But I am stirred to take my place in the battle. Drums have always been used as a battle cry, particularly significant to me. I have waited for this night for an entire year -- what would I do when I first heard them, how would it affect me, would I be compelled to grab my drum, run outside, and beat right back?
Tonight, as I listened I found myself steeled and focused to find my place in this battle. Not in the immediate, not with a drum, but with the way I protect my thoughts and ground myself in the Word and move about the village tomorrow. It heightened the responsibility I feel to the teens who are taking drum lessons from me this week -- to talk and pray with them, consecrating their playing for the Lord and no other. It gave weight and urgency to my desire to go and take the gospel that has the power to save out into the village before it is too late.
So tomorrow, I want to take my place in the battle here. Next month, I want to come back to America knowing more the power of the gospel. And tonight, I will pray. Will you pray with me for the souls of those who are beating? And hearing? And waiting to know the Lord?
The sound carries through the night air along with the occasional whistle of a train. I wonder how people in that part of town can sleep, it must be loud. The beat sounds intense and commanding. I resist my natural urge to try and pick up their rhythm. But I am stirred to take my place in the battle. Drums have always been used as a battle cry, particularly significant to me. I have waited for this night for an entire year -- what would I do when I first heard them, how would it affect me, would I be compelled to grab my drum, run outside, and beat right back?
Tonight, as I listened I found myself steeled and focused to find my place in this battle. Not in the immediate, not with a drum, but with the way I protect my thoughts and ground myself in the Word and move about the village tomorrow. It heightened the responsibility I feel to the teens who are taking drum lessons from me this week -- to talk and pray with them, consecrating their playing for the Lord and no other. It gave weight and urgency to my desire to go and take the gospel that has the power to save out into the village before it is too late.
So tomorrow, I want to take my place in the battle here. Next month, I want to come back to America knowing more the power of the gospel. And tonight, I will pray. Will you pray with me for the souls of those who are beating? And hearing? And waiting to know the Lord?
And the darkness could not overcome it...
Tonight a simple example of the infallibility of light in this place.
Tuesdays are prayer service at the church. The numbers are small but the hearts are strong. And humble as we come together before the Lord to petition Him. By the end of the evening the numbers will have grown. Tonight’s story is not an uncommon one, worthy of mention.
As we gathered to begin our service of adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication, our leader began to speak. She began to bring us together as one in that place through words of exhortation, then asked for one of us to open in prayer. After that she continued, and as she continued the brightly lit cement room we were meeting in suddenly and without warning became dark – completely dark – but our leader did not miss a beat. As she continued, the few of us each reached for our cell phone beside us and brought light to that place again. Without skipping a beat.
As we went on in that now softly lit room, I found myself noting the intimate feeling, the closeness that came as the lights were held near to each one, patching our small group together. What a personal God we serve. To meet with us so intimately. It remained just so through the time of pairing up to offer prayers of intercession before the Lord our God, our Maker, ever-present Light in the darkness. Just after this the lights did come back on, allowing us an easier time of connecting with each other after the service and ushering us out into the world again… full of light.
Tuesdays are prayer service at the church. The numbers are small but the hearts are strong. And humble as we come together before the Lord to petition Him. By the end of the evening the numbers will have grown. Tonight’s story is not an uncommon one, worthy of mention.
As we gathered to begin our service of adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication, our leader began to speak. She began to bring us together as one in that place through words of exhortation, then asked for one of us to open in prayer. After that she continued, and as she continued the brightly lit cement room we were meeting in suddenly and without warning became dark – completely dark – but our leader did not miss a beat. As she continued, the few of us each reached for our cell phone beside us and brought light to that place again. Without skipping a beat.
As we went on in that now softly lit room, I found myself noting the intimate feeling, the closeness that came as the lights were held near to each one, patching our small group together. What a personal God we serve. To meet with us so intimately. It remained just so through the time of pairing up to offer prayers of intercession before the Lord our God, our Maker, ever-present Light in the darkness. Just after this the lights did come back on, allowing us an easier time of connecting with each other after the service and ushering us out into the world again… full of light.
Unlocking the soul
They say the eyes are the window to the soul. What they fail to mention is that for many those windows have a guarded shade down. I will tell you a secret about disarming that guard, but first there are some things we must agree on…
Life in Mozambique is hard. Life in America is hard, too, but take away the anesthetization of losing one’s self in busyness or a job or overeating or television or sex or alcohol and what is left but really facing life?
Yes, some can be the same here. But then much of the trouble in Mozambique is compounded by lack of food, money, recent history of war, the AIDS pandemic that has claimed the lives of family members. And a third world country does not provide the same comforts that we may know.
As I drive through the village with American eyes, the look I see in theirs as they look back at me might be hopelessness, desperation, curiosity, apprehension, or something I have not yet identified correctly.
For one who comes from a culture where I’ve never been in the minority, to have so many new eyes on you can be intimidating -- and interpreting them – near impossible and usually wrong. But the eyes are, as we have stated, the window to the soul so it is worth our time to take another step in and see what we can find.
This next step, I believe is the key.
The next step… is actually very simple… it is to say ‘hello’. Somehow the voice, reaching out over the airwaves, is a connector and often the key which can unlock a guarded soul. Whether it was apprehension, or curiosity, or maybe hopelessness, this “Bom Dia” is a peace offering from one to another. One of respect and hope – nearly always returned with a sudden smile and reciprocal greeting. It is truly a magical moment, disarming for the American, too. This is the moment we realize that in the face of hunger, disease, uncertainty, and loss, there is something more powerful still. And this power of one human reaching out to another, even in this simple way, that is the power of the living God in us. Amen.
Life in Mozambique is hard. Life in America is hard, too, but take away the anesthetization of losing one’s self in busyness or a job or overeating or television or sex or alcohol and what is left but really facing life?
Yes, some can be the same here. But then much of the trouble in Mozambique is compounded by lack of food, money, recent history of war, the AIDS pandemic that has claimed the lives of family members. And a third world country does not provide the same comforts that we may know.
As I drive through the village with American eyes, the look I see in theirs as they look back at me might be hopelessness, desperation, curiosity, apprehension, or something I have not yet identified correctly.
For one who comes from a culture where I’ve never been in the minority, to have so many new eyes on you can be intimidating -- and interpreting them – near impossible and usually wrong. But the eyes are, as we have stated, the window to the soul so it is worth our time to take another step in and see what we can find.
This next step, I believe is the key.
The next step… is actually very simple… it is to say ‘hello’. Somehow the voice, reaching out over the airwaves, is a connector and often the key which can unlock a guarded soul. Whether it was apprehension, or curiosity, or maybe hopelessness, this “Bom Dia” is a peace offering from one to another. One of respect and hope – nearly always returned with a sudden smile and reciprocal greeting. It is truly a magical moment, disarming for the American, too. This is the moment we realize that in the face of hunger, disease, uncertainty, and loss, there is something more powerful still. And this power of one human reaching out to another, even in this simple way, that is the power of the living God in us. Amen.
Walk with me two
The housing complex that I live in has a circle that I follow to walk and pray. Usually after I have completed one circle and am ready to arrive back at the house, I feel the Lord prompt – go with me two. I realize the first circle has only served to and quiet and still my own running thoughts, I have not yet heard from Him. And so I begin the walk again.
Today the second circle showed me my own footsteps in the sand. I began to think about recent prayers that my leader and I had been praying, for me to find my own way, following not in other's footsteps, but just my own.
Then I came up behind two Mozambican women walking ahead of me, and I began to search for their footsteps, in symbolism of knitting myself to their lives and their ways; in desire to give myself more to people here. As I walked a distance behind them I prayed for spiritual things, for God to enlarge my selfish heart and my capacity to hold His love for them.
And then He showed me that some of the very the things I have been wrestling with here – the need to be known, and seen, and heard, and loved for who I am – are the very things that He is calling me to do for others. Thank God for His grace to gently and persistently call us outside of ourselves. To see those around us. And to walk not just for ourselves.
Lord, give us more grace to walk this road together.
Today the second circle showed me my own footsteps in the sand. I began to think about recent prayers that my leader and I had been praying, for me to find my own way, following not in other's footsteps, but just my own.
Then I came up behind two Mozambican women walking ahead of me, and I began to search for their footsteps, in symbolism of knitting myself to their lives and their ways; in desire to give myself more to people here. As I walked a distance behind them I prayed for spiritual things, for God to enlarge my selfish heart and my capacity to hold His love for them.
And then He showed me that some of the very the things I have been wrestling with here – the need to be known, and seen, and heard, and loved for who I am – are the very things that He is calling me to do for others. Thank God for His grace to gently and persistently call us outside of ourselves. To see those around us. And to walk not just for ourselves.
Lord, give us more grace to walk this road together.
Pieces of me
I don't know if other people are like this, but I know there are many pieces of me. For example, I will sometimes sign my name to an email 'Africa Jen' if I'm writing an update from a place of full-standing in that calling. Or maybe I am connecting with my identity as a worshipper – Worshipper Jen. Or needing to affirm my place as a daughter of the king: God's Jen. And what I'm anxious to find out is – did all the pieces make it across the ocean?
As I am settling into daily Living Life here in this new place, different parts of me begin to surface. The other day I felt playful and I wondered 'does that jen have a place here'? Is there a someone, or a somewhere, or a somehow that will allow me to be that jen here? How about a Leader? A Follower, for sure, as I came to be mentored and to learn. Just last night I felt myself awakened again to the piece of me that intercedes (prays for others). 'oh, yeah… I am that too'. And it was good, it felt like I had been reunited with a very dear friend, and I am starting to move in that way again.
It appears that God is awakening each of these in proper time as He helps me see their place here and I find my being. I do think all parts of me crossed that ocean. And I think to come and serve at the Ray of Light project is a great way to utilize all of yourself because it is so varied and the leaders are so encouraging to helping you bring all of yourself to the table, to give as you are uniquely equipped to give. What's more exciting is that I suspect God, in His infinite wisdom, has brought me here to show me even the new pieces of who I am in Him… Jen of Contentment… Healing... Life of the party… fearless… And to strengthen and affirm other pieces… servant… Warrior Jen… Jen of compassion… Songwriter… friend of God. Amazing stuff. Aren't words of identity powerful? Praying you will be reminded and connect with some of yours today.
As I am settling into daily Living Life here in this new place, different parts of me begin to surface. The other day I felt playful and I wondered 'does that jen have a place here'? Is there a someone, or a somewhere, or a somehow that will allow me to be that jen here? How about a Leader? A Follower, for sure, as I came to be mentored and to learn. Just last night I felt myself awakened again to the piece of me that intercedes (prays for others). 'oh, yeah… I am that too'. And it was good, it felt like I had been reunited with a very dear friend, and I am starting to move in that way again.
It appears that God is awakening each of these in proper time as He helps me see their place here and I find my being. I do think all parts of me crossed that ocean. And I think to come and serve at the Ray of Light project is a great way to utilize all of yourself because it is so varied and the leaders are so encouraging to helping you bring all of yourself to the table, to give as you are uniquely equipped to give. What's more exciting is that I suspect God, in His infinite wisdom, has brought me here to show me even the new pieces of who I am in Him… Jen of Contentment… Healing... Life of the party… fearless… And to strengthen and affirm other pieces… servant… Warrior Jen… Jen of compassion… Songwriter… friend of God. Amazing stuff. Aren't words of identity powerful? Praying you will be reminded and connect with some of yours today.
Hands holding
Last year I wrote about an experience I had the first day we toured the project, when we visited the 1st grade classroom. We sat in the desks as their teacher and my teacher explained from the front about the class, the school, the education philosophy, what they are learning, how many were enrolled, etc, etc. I remembered nothing afterwards but the experience I had with one of the children – a blinking game with the wide-eyed girl in front of me who had turned around in her seat to see me. Yesterday I had the same surreal experience. Which I didn’t realize until today when Janine referred to the bakery site we had visited yesterday... The bakery that is being built near the preschool classrooms in Mafarania. ‘Oh, yeah, um I do remember you saying we were stopping to see it and then walking up by the classrooms…’ but by the time I reached center court I had a large entourage of children walking with me – each of them trying to hold a piece of my hand. I am certain we did make it to our designated tour spot and I am certain the bakery slab was there as my teacher had said, but I certainly do not remember anything but how big the smile on my face was as I looked down at my own personal mob of love. I am certain these are the ones Jesus had in mind when He said ‘Let the little children come to me’. What a beautiful thing that He shared them with me that day. I will never be the same. And the bakery will be there another day.
Being molded
From something that is, to something that is yet to be.
Something that I’ve realized is that I feel everything. Physical, emotional, I am in tune with where / how my body, my heart, my spirit is changing. Every movement of my becoming.
To picture it as me on the potter’s wheel is to feel it each day and each day to face a choice to stay on that wheel. To just remain here, in the moment, every day, whatever may come. To not anesthetize the discomfort of the gradual changing. It is not a harsh, sudden, painful process, but it is a process and I must choose to remain a part of it.
Honestly, I have been feeling this slight but constant discomfort every day since I arrived. Just today I recognized what that feeling is – it is the feeling I had when I returned last fall from my two-week trip here. I knew God was up to something, bringing changes in me and my life path. Honestly, it was agony – the waiting, the watching to see what this metamorphosis would produce. Yeah, this week feels a little like that.
A new beginning and a new becoming. It’s good, I'm sure.
Something that I’ve realized is that I feel everything. Physical, emotional, I am in tune with where / how my body, my heart, my spirit is changing. Every movement of my becoming.
To picture it as me on the potter’s wheel is to feel it each day and each day to face a choice to stay on that wheel. To just remain here, in the moment, every day, whatever may come. To not anesthetize the discomfort of the gradual changing. It is not a harsh, sudden, painful process, but it is a process and I must choose to remain a part of it.
Honestly, I have been feeling this slight but constant discomfort every day since I arrived. Just today I recognized what that feeling is – it is the feeling I had when I returned last fall from my two-week trip here. I knew God was up to something, bringing changes in me and my life path. Honestly, it was agony – the waiting, the watching to see what this metamorphosis would produce. Yeah, this week feels a little like that.
A new beginning and a new becoming. It’s good, I'm sure.
How did I get here?
On one hand I have no idea. I have never aspired to being a missionary – the “m” word – mmm, no, thanks. A stereotype and lifestyle that I thought just didn’t fit. And I certainly didn’t grow up thinking about being a missionary in Africa. No, no, that was the thing I would loft up to the sky when making promises to God.. “yes, God, I’ll do anything for you… even go to Africa". Certainly not reality.
Or… maybe I do know how I got here… maybe it was prayers just like that. Maybe it is a God who takes these prayers as opportunities to produce in us deeper surrender, deeper dependence, deeper love…
Maybe it was the lyrics Diane Theil wrote that I sang from my heart time after time…
If you say go, we will go
If you say wait, we will wait
If you say step out on the water
And they say it can’t be done
We’ll fix our eyes on You and we will come
Okay, yeah, maybe it was something Just. Like. That. God hears us, friends. And takes us at our word when we “say yes”. And I am here. This I know.
Or… maybe I do know how I got here… maybe it was prayers just like that. Maybe it is a God who takes these prayers as opportunities to produce in us deeper surrender, deeper dependence, deeper love…
Everything I know about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ begins and ends with surrender — with saying yes to God. That tiny, simple word initiates an exhilarating, life-altering adventure that will take you places you never thought you’d go — both literally and figuratively. [Kay Warren, Dangerous Surrender]
Maybe it was the lyrics Diane Theil wrote that I sang from my heart time after time…
If you say go, we will go
If you say wait, we will wait
If you say step out on the water
And they say it can’t be done
We’ll fix our eyes on You and we will come
Okay, yeah, maybe it was something Just. Like. That. God hears us, friends. And takes us at our word when we “say yes”. And I am here. This I know.
Denver time
Hi Friends
just a quick note --
i fly out (along with Cathy McFadden) to Denver tomorrow morning to attend the annual meeting of Children's Relief staff/board. i'll meet these people who are partly responsible for God changing my life in Africa. they'll meet me, i'll sit in on their debriefing and vision casting for this year. i'll meet others who are coming on staff. and i'll meet with Alan and Melody about setting up logistics for going back!
for those who haven't heard... i'll be returning to Mozambique this summer for 2 months to assist Janine with hosting the 2-week teams.
w/o going into more detail or getting ahead of myself, i'd just like to ask you to pray a couple things --
* that i wouldn't go work to hard to make a good first impression or establish relationships or find the holes to fit into, but that'd i'd just GO AND BE MYSELF. and let God take care of all the other stuff.
* pray i can just relax and enjoy this ride!
thanks for your prayers and support -- i so value your participation in this adventure.
jen
just a quick note --
i fly out (along with Cathy McFadden) to Denver tomorrow morning to attend the annual meeting of Children's Relief staff/board. i'll meet these people who are partly responsible for God changing my life in Africa. they'll meet me, i'll sit in on their debriefing and vision casting for this year. i'll meet others who are coming on staff. and i'll meet with Alan and Melody about setting up logistics for going back!
for those who haven't heard... i'll be returning to Mozambique this summer for 2 months to assist Janine with hosting the 2-week teams.
w/o going into more detail or getting ahead of myself, i'd just like to ask you to pray a couple things --
* that i wouldn't go work to hard to make a good first impression or establish relationships or find the holes to fit into, but that'd i'd just GO AND BE MYSELF. and let God take care of all the other stuff.
* pray i can just relax and enjoy this ride!
thanks for your prayers and support -- i so value your participation in this adventure.
jen
The Struggle in the Calling
My friend Becky says i need to start talking about it. i do not know
how. i think that i am, whenever i have an interaction w/someone, but
it is sorely incomplete and i feel loss for words. is it an utter
inability to fully identify and process what i'm feeling...to get all
these things that are stuck in my head out where i can look at them. this is my attempt to do that...
it is true i am in a state of bliss after this trip. a new place of
freedom and life. a boldness, a fearlessness with the Lord about just
living. just being. a simplicity to love Him and live each day, in the
moment. yes, all these things are true. but there are also other
things under the surface that are just as true. but elusive.
i identified the other day an underlying sense of sadness that i feel.
and tonight i realize it has added to it low-grade mental anquish.
agony. could these be the right words to describe? let's consult
dictionary.com --
ag·o·ny [ag-uh-nee] –noun, plural -nies.
1. extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering.
2. a display or outburst of intense mental or emotional excitement: an
agony of joy.
3. the struggle preceding natural death: mortal agony.
4. a violent struggle.
5. (often initial capital letter) Theology. the sufferings of Christ
in the garden of Gethsemane.
definition #2 speaks to the fact that there can be various emotions
tied to it, not just anquish (i.e. acute distress, suffering, torture)
but how about the flip side of joy, just around the corner perhaps.
definition #5 refers to Jesus in the garden. His momentary agony for
the eternal joy. perhaps this is most like my struggle. i do feel this
struggle is preceding something significant. it is something to be
gotten through, not avoided. definition #3 intrigues me (though not for natural death, not to worry).
but i ask that you would help pray me through this struggle. the struggle
involves finding God's calling for me. i have never felt Him calling
before, this is all new for me. for the first time in my life i think
He may have a specific job/place for me to go. He has always used me
where i am, i think, and those places were even in His plan, but this
feels like the first time He's showing me something significant, a
place He's prepared for me, and will i step into it.
i have kept close contact with my CRI host Janine since returning,
primarily as one of my new favorite people, but partially as my link
to all this. ...she suggested to me the other day coming to work w/her
next summer for a few months... i don't know all the logistics of how
this could work (and if it could work with my job, my rent, etc), but
i think my first step is even to evaluate if this is God calling me. i
can say honestly that it makes the most sense lining up with the
struggle in me.
God planted something of Africa in my heart a long time ago - drawing
me with the music, the colors, the drums, the dress, i don't know how
to say this, but strangely and unexplainably going there felt like
'home' in a way. this is a such an inadequate way to describe it and
feels too romanticized to say it like that, but it's the only way i
can figure out how to put it into words. and now that i have returned
i acknowledge that i have left a piece of my heart there. it feels
like there is work left to be done for me over there.
i haven't talked much about the worship seminar i did on the last day
there... because it was so unglamorous and felt far less than one
would hope. we spent most of the day in open discussion about some of
their 'issues' as a team, not only frustration in logistics of
leadership and practice times, but issues of trust and love for fellow
team members. these were clearly issues they needed to be talking
about and i'm glad to have provided a place to do that, but it really
only served to leave me with this perspective that what they needed
was someone to model these things and help navigate them through the
daily stuff. and teaching abilities to help move them forward in their
skill levels on their instruments. these are the things i think i can
bring and suspect God may be holding this out to me, but i haven't
fully reconciled this possibility with the fact that it's AFRICA and
that would mean leaving life here for a while.
so i really haven't fully accepted that this is really what's going on -- if
i knew for certain He was calling ME to go, and be who i am, there, it
would be much harder to have the struggle -- because i would KNOW this
is what i had to do. and, for me, once God speaks clearly, i really
can't do anything but obey. so for now i listen and try to discern
what He's saying. and i feel the strain and the struggle.
an·guish [ang-gwish] –noun
3. to suffer, feel, or exhibit anguish: to anguish over the loss of a loved one.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME anguisse < OF < L angustia tight place, equiv.
to angust(us) narrow + -ia -ia; cf. anxious; akin to anger]
—Synonyms 1. agony, torment, torture. See pain.
—Antonyms 1. delight, comfort, relief.
and so here i wait. and i ask for prayer, knowing and holding onto the
promise of hope in the delight, comfort, and relief that comes from
knowing one's purpose and finally saying yes, not just in obedience,
but in loving submission to your Maker.
lyrics from that song Janine sang over me one night during circle time...
"i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands."
thanks for listening. please grab me and pray for me next time you see me!
jen
Eph 4
how. i think that i am, whenever i have an interaction w/someone, but
it is sorely incomplete and i feel loss for words. is it an utter
inability to fully identify and process what i'm feeling...to get all
these things that are stuck in my head out where i can look at them. this is my attempt to do that...
it is true i am in a state of bliss after this trip. a new place of
freedom and life. a boldness, a fearlessness with the Lord about just
living. just being. a simplicity to love Him and live each day, in the
moment. yes, all these things are true. but there are also other
things under the surface that are just as true. but elusive.
i identified the other day an underlying sense of sadness that i feel.
and tonight i realize it has added to it low-grade mental anquish.
agony. could these be the right words to describe? let's consult
dictionary.com --
ag·o·ny [ag-uh-nee] –noun, plural -nies.
1. extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering.
2. a display or outburst of intense mental or emotional excitement: an
agony of joy.
3. the struggle preceding natural death: mortal agony.
4. a violent struggle.
5. (often initial capital letter) Theology. the sufferings of Christ
in the garden of Gethsemane.
definition #2 speaks to the fact that there can be various emotions
tied to it, not just anquish (i.e. acute distress, suffering, torture)
but how about the flip side of joy, just around the corner perhaps.
definition #5 refers to Jesus in the garden. His momentary agony for
the eternal joy. perhaps this is most like my struggle. i do feel this
struggle is preceding something significant. it is something to be
gotten through, not avoided. definition #3 intrigues me (though not for natural death, not to worry).
but i ask that you would help pray me through this struggle. the struggle
involves finding God's calling for me. i have never felt Him calling
before, this is all new for me. for the first time in my life i think
He may have a specific job/place for me to go. He has always used me
where i am, i think, and those places were even in His plan, but this
feels like the first time He's showing me something significant, a
place He's prepared for me, and will i step into it.
i have kept close contact with my CRI host Janine since returning,
primarily as one of my new favorite people, but partially as my link
to all this. ...she suggested to me the other day coming to work w/her
next summer for a few months... i don't know all the logistics of how
this could work (and if it could work with my job, my rent, etc), but
i think my first step is even to evaluate if this is God calling me. i
can say honestly that it makes the most sense lining up with the
struggle in me.
God planted something of Africa in my heart a long time ago - drawing
me with the music, the colors, the drums, the dress, i don't know how
to say this, but strangely and unexplainably going there felt like
'home' in a way. this is a such an inadequate way to describe it and
feels too romanticized to say it like that, but it's the only way i
can figure out how to put it into words. and now that i have returned
i acknowledge that i have left a piece of my heart there. it feels
like there is work left to be done for me over there.
i haven't talked much about the worship seminar i did on the last day
there... because it was so unglamorous and felt far less than one
would hope. we spent most of the day in open discussion about some of
their 'issues' as a team, not only frustration in logistics of
leadership and practice times, but issues of trust and love for fellow
team members. these were clearly issues they needed to be talking
about and i'm glad to have provided a place to do that, but it really
only served to leave me with this perspective that what they needed
was someone to model these things and help navigate them through the
daily stuff. and teaching abilities to help move them forward in their
skill levels on their instruments. these are the things i think i can
bring and suspect God may be holding this out to me, but i haven't
fully reconciled this possibility with the fact that it's AFRICA and
that would mean leaving life here for a while.
so i really haven't fully accepted that this is really what's going on -- if
i knew for certain He was calling ME to go, and be who i am, there, it
would be much harder to have the struggle -- because i would KNOW this
is what i had to do. and, for me, once God speaks clearly, i really
can't do anything but obey. so for now i listen and try to discern
what He's saying. and i feel the strain and the struggle.
an·guish [ang-gwish] –noun
3. to suffer, feel, or exhibit anguish: to anguish over the loss of a loved one.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME anguisse < OF < L angustia tight place, equiv.
to angust(us) narrow + -ia -ia; cf. anxious; akin to anger]
—Synonyms 1. agony, torment, torture. See pain.
—Antonyms 1. delight, comfort, relief.
and so here i wait. and i ask for prayer, knowing and holding onto the
promise of hope in the delight, comfort, and relief that comes from
knowing one's purpose and finally saying yes, not just in obedience,
but in loving submission to your Maker.
lyrics from that song Janine sang over me one night during circle time...
"i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands."
thanks for listening. please grab me and pray for me next time you see me!
jen
Eph 4
This I know
Hello, my friends
We have gone on quite a journey, haven't we? Several of you have
commented how quickly it went, i whole-heartedly agree. It all
happened like a whirlwind, i think the whole team would agree. We
started preparing, meeting as a team regularly, like 6 months ago. God
had work to do on our hearts and in our families/lives to prepare us
for the work He would do in us while we were there. For me, it seems
that He started preparing me for the work He did in Africa before time
began. Please forgive me if it all sounds too huge, but the more i let
it sink it, the more i see how huge it was...
Last night I had the opportunity to help lead worship at our monthly
"re:fresh" service. Some of the regulars weren't able to make it and a
spot opened up for me to step into to take more lead. It was so much
fun. When it was all over and done with i realized some things more
firmly and more freely than i ever have...
-- i LOVE leading a band in worship. i'm good at it, i've had
training, experience, and i just have a talent that comes naturally to
connect with and lead the people behind me. It is a give and take, we
work together, and i'm comfortable in that place. in fact i thrive on
doing it 'together'. the group i work with on re:fresh nights is such
a joy. While in africa i was seen and affirmed in that position as the
one to work with the worship band. It built some more confidence in me
and gave me more freedom to pursue that part of me.
-- i LOVE leading people in worship. i pray for God's heart for them,
i want to be a liason between them, trying to see where their hearts are
and leading them to the Father, and holding out His heart to them as
well, showing them the path to receive it. i love doing this, whether
in small groups (like africa team) or, i realized more fully last
night, in large groups. God's heart is so for people, what can i do to
help the 2 connect? (if you don't know that part of me, i love
relational connections!)
-- and last night, i FORGOT to have any inhibitions. i forgot to get
caught up in myself -- i was moving in freedom and boldness. i believe
these are lessons that came to completion for me IN AFRICA and BECAUSE
OF YOUR PRAYERS. things that God has been doing in me and teaching me for
a very long time seemed to come to a new level of acquisition through
my trip to africa. i learned to be fearless. i learned to not rely on
my gifts, but to just BE myself. i learned to not NEED to give, but to
just be available, content with however God chose to integrate me into
any day or given situation. i learned to not strive for anything. i
learned to enjoy the moment. i learned to not live in my inhibitions
or put myself in a box. i learned to trust God more that He made me
how He made me and His voice is the one i should listen to about that!
In church our final sunday morning there, anita spoke to our new
friends, and to us, about holding treasure in jars of clay. that we
are cracked pots, but God's glory seeps through our cracks. i had
actually already had that scripture on my mind earlier that morning,
thinking about the crazy fact that i was the Worship Leader for our
team and how funny that was to me because i'm not the one with the
best voice, but that God doesn't see that as a hindrance, and He
shines through my cracks (sometimes my voice literally cracks!!!) and
shows Himself - if i let Him and dont' get caught up with myself. Last
night i FORGOT to worry about my voice, being consumed with thoughts
of meeting with God was much more important.
i am a firm believer in the saying "God does not call the equipped, He
equips the called." Do we believe He is big enough to do what He wants
with and through us? Or are we too caught up in our own limitations
and inhibitions? I challenge you, friends, to throw caution to the
wind, believe for the big things, and believe He can do them through
you.
i also want to THANK YOU for helping pray me to this next level.
There's so many reasons for this trip, but this morning i am joyfully
and profoundly thankful for the way it personally impacted and brought
me into more freedom and more of who God made me to be. I am loving
life so much with so much peace right now. I dont' know what God has
in store for me next, but i feel really good about living each day
here and now, and then...we'll see...
in case i didnt' mention before, or you couldn't tell, i did leave a
piece of my heart in Mozambique and am wrestling with what that might
mean for me. I'm sure it means i'll be going back next year -- and
would love to take each one of you with me this time!! If this is
something that stirs in you, let me know and i'll start praying with
you about it :)
thanks for listening. thanks for journeying with me. i and the team
would love to share more stories - and pictures! - with you: Saturday,
Nov 17 at 7pm at VOP.
Gracas a Deus!
jen
We have gone on quite a journey, haven't we? Several of you have
commented how quickly it went, i whole-heartedly agree. It all
happened like a whirlwind, i think the whole team would agree. We
started preparing, meeting as a team regularly, like 6 months ago. God
had work to do on our hearts and in our families/lives to prepare us
for the work He would do in us while we were there. For me, it seems
that He started preparing me for the work He did in Africa before time
began. Please forgive me if it all sounds too huge, but the more i let
it sink it, the more i see how huge it was...
Last night I had the opportunity to help lead worship at our monthly
"re:fresh" service. Some of the regulars weren't able to make it and a
spot opened up for me to step into to take more lead. It was so much
fun. When it was all over and done with i realized some things more
firmly and more freely than i ever have...
-- i LOVE leading a band in worship. i'm good at it, i've had
training, experience, and i just have a talent that comes naturally to
connect with and lead the people behind me. It is a give and take, we
work together, and i'm comfortable in that place. in fact i thrive on
doing it 'together'. the group i work with on re:fresh nights is such
a joy. While in africa i was seen and affirmed in that position as the
one to work with the worship band. It built some more confidence in me
and gave me more freedom to pursue that part of me.
-- i LOVE leading people in worship. i pray for God's heart for them,
i want to be a liason between them, trying to see where their hearts are
and leading them to the Father, and holding out His heart to them as
well, showing them the path to receive it. i love doing this, whether
in small groups (like africa team) or, i realized more fully last
night, in large groups. God's heart is so for people, what can i do to
help the 2 connect? (if you don't know that part of me, i love
relational connections!)
-- and last night, i FORGOT to have any inhibitions. i forgot to get
caught up in myself -- i was moving in freedom and boldness. i believe
these are lessons that came to completion for me IN AFRICA and BECAUSE
OF YOUR PRAYERS. things that God has been doing in me and teaching me for
a very long time seemed to come to a new level of acquisition through
my trip to africa. i learned to be fearless. i learned to not rely on
my gifts, but to just BE myself. i learned to not NEED to give, but to
just be available, content with however God chose to integrate me into
any day or given situation. i learned to not strive for anything. i
learned to enjoy the moment. i learned to not live in my inhibitions
or put myself in a box. i learned to trust God more that He made me
how He made me and His voice is the one i should listen to about that!
In church our final sunday morning there, anita spoke to our new
friends, and to us, about holding treasure in jars of clay. that we
are cracked pots, but God's glory seeps through our cracks. i had
actually already had that scripture on my mind earlier that morning,
thinking about the crazy fact that i was the Worship Leader for our
team and how funny that was to me because i'm not the one with the
best voice, but that God doesn't see that as a hindrance, and He
shines through my cracks (sometimes my voice literally cracks!!!) and
shows Himself - if i let Him and dont' get caught up with myself. Last
night i FORGOT to worry about my voice, being consumed with thoughts
of meeting with God was much more important.
i am a firm believer in the saying "God does not call the equipped, He
equips the called." Do we believe He is big enough to do what He wants
with and through us? Or are we too caught up in our own limitations
and inhibitions? I challenge you, friends, to throw caution to the
wind, believe for the big things, and believe He can do them through
you.
i also want to THANK YOU for helping pray me to this next level.
There's so many reasons for this trip, but this morning i am joyfully
and profoundly thankful for the way it personally impacted and brought
me into more freedom and more of who God made me to be. I am loving
life so much with so much peace right now. I dont' know what God has
in store for me next, but i feel really good about living each day
here and now, and then...we'll see...
in case i didnt' mention before, or you couldn't tell, i did leave a
piece of my heart in Mozambique and am wrestling with what that might
mean for me. I'm sure it means i'll be going back next year -- and
would love to take each one of you with me this time!! If this is
something that stirs in you, let me know and i'll start praying with
you about it :)
thanks for listening. thanks for journeying with me. i and the team
would love to share more stories - and pictures! - with you: Saturday,
Nov 17 at 7pm at VOP.
Gracas a Deus!
jen
10.29.07
hello, friends -
i am home at last. 31 hours of travel. we started yesterday after
church and arrived to ohare this afternoon. it was a really good
journey, actually. thanks for all your prayers.
i promise to send a little more details of our wrap up time there.
just couldn't bring myself to write on saturday night (sad) and then
we've been in the air ever since.
i have instructions to stay awake until at least 9pm tonight to help
adjust to this time schedule. so will head to a send off for some
friends who are leaving for france this week to explore what God might
have for them there. too cool. God's always up to somethign, isn't He?
let me know how you and yours are. i'll be around this week to chat
over email :)
love,
jen
i am home at last. 31 hours of travel. we started yesterday after
church and arrived to ohare this afternoon. it was a really good
journey, actually. thanks for all your prayers.
i promise to send a little more details of our wrap up time there.
just couldn't bring myself to write on saturday night (sad) and then
we've been in the air ever since.
i have instructions to stay awake until at least 9pm tonight to help
adjust to this time schedule. so will head to a send off for some
friends who are leaving for france this week to explore what God might
have for them there. too cool. God's always up to somethign, isn't He?
let me know how you and yours are. i'll be around this week to chat
over email :)
love,
jen
10.26.07
Hello Home Team
it was very hard to start saying our goodbyes tonight. i definitely
feel that i'm leaving a piece of my heart here in mozambique. it's
crazy the friendships and connections w/people that have been made in
this short time, in spite of the language barrier. God has brought us
together by His divine hand and will be our glue.
i wish i could tell more, but must turn my attention to the morning's
worship seminar. i feel like i'm on the verge of discovering God's
intentions for tomorrow... not quite there...but feels really close...
i guess i'll be seeing you soon. sad to leave here.
jen
it was very hard to start saying our goodbyes tonight. i definitely
feel that i'm leaving a piece of my heart here in mozambique. it's
crazy the friendships and connections w/people that have been made in
this short time, in spite of the language barrier. God has brought us
together by His divine hand and will be our glue.
i wish i could tell more, but must turn my attention to the morning's
worship seminar. i feel like i'm on the verge of discovering God's
intentions for tomorrow... not quite there...but feels really close...
i guess i'll be seeing you soon. sad to leave here.
jen
10.25.07
Not sure i have an update in me tonight. things are good. we're all
kind of in a groove with our projects (sharon teaching baking class,
lauren and anna with sewing class for teens, jennie and i on
powerpoint, anita teaching leaders, debbie and randy planting maringa
seeds/trees, jeff doing electrical work providing much needed light in
dimly lit places, cathy loving on people and being absolutely embraced
here, deb g stepping out and becoming more and more of her shining
self). most end tomorrow then the team goes to Beira for final
souvenier shopping on saturday - without me cuz i have the worship
team seminar in the morning.
i had a good initial meeting w/the worship leader, Edmundo, today to
talk through possibilities of what i'd speak on. need to sort it out
w/God tomorrow. pls pray that i'd really know His plan for our time
and just cooperate w/what He wants to do. i don't think it will be
instruction as much as it is encouraing them in the things he's
teaching and modeling like living a life of worship and some basics
about our leaderhsip from the platform. i also want to spend some time
talking about that worship is more than singing our praises to God,
that He wants to speak back to us and how to make place for that in
our time, particularly through the instruments and how to navigate
that with your worship leader. i'm not expecting to change any
methods, just open them up a bit more as i bring what i have
experienced and can offer.
they also have just acquired a new drum set and are eager for me to
teaching them how to play it, so we'll see how the time goes. i do
plan to pull in a lot more of the traditional drums as we workshop on
listening for God. it's strange to see them trying to do a more
western style on sundays. they do not for their evening meetings - or
at the church plants in the bush - it is all singing (gorgeous
harmonies) with sometimes hand drum/s and tonight at meeting they had
one guitar and voice leading from the middle of the group of us in
chairs. so beautiful, and pure. the Lord's presence is so strong it
always takes me a while to break out of it when it's over :) ahhhh....
and on that happy note. until tomorrow. pls start praying for our
transitions and for people's future plans here. these things are
already pulling on us.
much love,
jen
kind of in a groove with our projects (sharon teaching baking class,
lauren and anna with sewing class for teens, jennie and i on
powerpoint, anita teaching leaders, debbie and randy planting maringa
seeds/trees, jeff doing electrical work providing much needed light in
dimly lit places, cathy loving on people and being absolutely embraced
here, deb g stepping out and becoming more and more of her shining
self). most end tomorrow then the team goes to Beira for final
souvenier shopping on saturday - without me cuz i have the worship
team seminar in the morning.
i had a good initial meeting w/the worship leader, Edmundo, today to
talk through possibilities of what i'd speak on. need to sort it out
w/God tomorrow. pls pray that i'd really know His plan for our time
and just cooperate w/what He wants to do. i don't think it will be
instruction as much as it is encouraing them in the things he's
teaching and modeling like living a life of worship and some basics
about our leaderhsip from the platform. i also want to spend some time
talking about that worship is more than singing our praises to God,
that He wants to speak back to us and how to make place for that in
our time, particularly through the instruments and how to navigate
that with your worship leader. i'm not expecting to change any
methods, just open them up a bit more as i bring what i have
experienced and can offer.
they also have just acquired a new drum set and are eager for me to
teaching them how to play it, so we'll see how the time goes. i do
plan to pull in a lot more of the traditional drums as we workshop on
listening for God. it's strange to see them trying to do a more
western style on sundays. they do not for their evening meetings - or
at the church plants in the bush - it is all singing (gorgeous
harmonies) with sometimes hand drum/s and tonight at meeting they had
one guitar and voice leading from the middle of the group of us in
chairs. so beautiful, and pure. the Lord's presence is so strong it
always takes me a while to break out of it when it's over :) ahhhh....
and on that happy note. until tomorrow. pls start praying for our
transitions and for people's future plans here. these things are
already pulling on us.
much love,
jen
10.24.07
Hellooo mighty mighty prayer team!
We are 9 days into this stuff in Dondo and i'd like to take a break to
say thanks for your general prayers that started probalby more than 9
days ago. things like safe travels on the way, that we got all our
luggage and all the supplies got through customs (some close calls but
the prayers pulled them through!). thanks for your prayers for our
protection and comfort here. so far everyone has survived the bathroom
conditions :) which are pretty close to like home here in the house
(just can't flush any paper, it goes in a little lidded bucket next to
the toilet) and not quite so nice when we're out but doing okay :)
no one has gotten sick other than a little over exposure
to the sun and needing to lay down for a bit. we've not had any
problems with insect bits or worms or anything funny like that. IN
FACT we've not hardly seen ANY mosquitos!! they are unusually light
for this time of year. praise God.
yes, praise God. He is so good to us. and He gives each of us what we
need when we need it. we seem to be taking turns having days of rest -
planned by the Lord, not our plans, but He knows we need them and need
Him. please pray for more of this time when we introverts need it. it
is quite a new experience for most of us to be traveling and living in
such a big group 24/7. also, pray specifically towards the fact that
we are getting more comfortable here and that somehow allows us to
revert back to some normal behaviors, which can be a little trickier
than when we are all green and ultra-relying on God. does that make
sense? thanks for your coverage, praise God He is meeting us right
where we are and will continue to. we are continually amazed at the
ways He is healing and meeting each of us individually in ways that
have nothing to do with the ministry here.
today was my day to go to the hospital to serve soup. this meant a few
of us went with "mother teresa" woman from brazil and 2 translators -
one in portugeuse and one in sena as they took soup around to each
room. we spent a little time in each, one of us would pray outloud for
the room then MT might explain the gospel and sometimes we would pray
for specific healing for specific patients. the conditions in the
hosptial were just terrible including what looked like roaches
crawling up and down the walls and bedside tables. some comfort showed
itself in the familiy members who were with their loved one but not
most. most patients just lay still and looked miserable. you may have
seen a picture anita took while she was here that we put on the front
of our Hope for Africa brochures -- this was not a manufactured shot -
that is really what many of them look like. all pretty bad and once my
breath was actually taken away as i turned the corner into one room
and saw the woman on the bed nearest the door. i... yeah not sure i
can explain it. but the cool part about us being there was actually
having this feeling that we were bringing light and hope and jesus and
praying in belief and power for God to be there and to do something in
each one's heart and body. we have already had one good report of a
woman that our first team prayed for. now that is way cool. but today
even the instant connections i felt in eye contact with a few and the
hope dust that we shook off our feet and left with the ones who stayed
with them. yeah, way cool too.
side note: oh man is it hot here today!
it continues to blow me away how THANKFUL the nationals are we are
working with. the ones that have jesus really have jesus. like i said
before the lines are so clear here - good/bad, God/witchdoctors and
darkness. it is overwhelming for sure, but also freeing and somehow
easier to deal with. things in amercia are so much more complicated,
you know what i mean?
over and out for tonight.
your friend,
jen
We are 9 days into this stuff in Dondo and i'd like to take a break to
say thanks for your general prayers that started probalby more than 9
days ago. things like safe travels on the way, that we got all our
luggage and all the supplies got through customs (some close calls but
the prayers pulled them through!). thanks for your prayers for our
protection and comfort here. so far everyone has survived the bathroom
conditions :) which are pretty close to like home here in the house
(just can't flush any paper, it goes in a little lidded bucket next to
the toilet) and not quite so nice when we're out but doing okay :)
no one has gotten sick other than a little over exposure
to the sun and needing to lay down for a bit. we've not had any
problems with insect bits or worms or anything funny like that. IN
FACT we've not hardly seen ANY mosquitos!! they are unusually light
for this time of year. praise God.
yes, praise God. He is so good to us. and He gives each of us what we
need when we need it. we seem to be taking turns having days of rest -
planned by the Lord, not our plans, but He knows we need them and need
Him. please pray for more of this time when we introverts need it. it
is quite a new experience for most of us to be traveling and living in
such a big group 24/7. also, pray specifically towards the fact that
we are getting more comfortable here and that somehow allows us to
revert back to some normal behaviors, which can be a little trickier
than when we are all green and ultra-relying on God. does that make
sense? thanks for your coverage, praise God He is meeting us right
where we are and will continue to. we are continually amazed at the
ways He is healing and meeting each of us individually in ways that
have nothing to do with the ministry here.
today was my day to go to the hospital to serve soup. this meant a few
of us went with "mother teresa" woman from brazil and 2 translators -
one in portugeuse and one in sena as they took soup around to each
room. we spent a little time in each, one of us would pray outloud for
the room then MT might explain the gospel and sometimes we would pray
for specific healing for specific patients. the conditions in the
hosptial were just terrible including what looked like roaches
crawling up and down the walls and bedside tables. some comfort showed
itself in the familiy members who were with their loved one but not
most. most patients just lay still and looked miserable. you may have
seen a picture anita took while she was here that we put on the front
of our Hope for Africa brochures -- this was not a manufactured shot -
that is really what many of them look like. all pretty bad and once my
breath was actually taken away as i turned the corner into one room
and saw the woman on the bed nearest the door. i... yeah not sure i
can explain it. but the cool part about us being there was actually
having this feeling that we were bringing light and hope and jesus and
praying in belief and power for God to be there and to do something in
each one's heart and body. we have already had one good report of a
woman that our first team prayed for. now that is way cool. but today
even the instant connections i felt in eye contact with a few and the
hope dust that we shook off our feet and left with the ones who stayed
with them. yeah, way cool too.
side note: oh man is it hot here today!
it continues to blow me away how THANKFUL the nationals are we are
working with. the ones that have jesus really have jesus. like i said
before the lines are so clear here - good/bad, God/witchdoctors and
darkness. it is overwhelming for sure, but also freeing and somehow
easier to deal with. things in amercia are so much more complicated,
you know what i mean?
over and out for tonight.
your friend,
jen
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