Denver time
Hi Friends
just a quick note --
i fly out (along with Cathy McFadden) to Denver tomorrow morning to attend the annual meeting of Children's Relief staff/board. i'll meet these people who are partly responsible for God changing my life in Africa. they'll meet me, i'll sit in on their debriefing and vision casting for this year. i'll meet others who are coming on staff. and i'll meet with Alan and Melody about setting up logistics for going back!
for those who haven't heard... i'll be returning to Mozambique this summer for 2 months to assist Janine with hosting the 2-week teams.
w/o going into more detail or getting ahead of myself, i'd just like to ask you to pray a couple things --
* that i wouldn't go work to hard to make a good first impression or establish relationships or find the holes to fit into, but that'd i'd just GO AND BE MYSELF. and let God take care of all the other stuff.
* pray i can just relax and enjoy this ride!
thanks for your prayers and support -- i so value your participation in this adventure.
jen
just a quick note --
i fly out (along with Cathy McFadden) to Denver tomorrow morning to attend the annual meeting of Children's Relief staff/board. i'll meet these people who are partly responsible for God changing my life in Africa. they'll meet me, i'll sit in on their debriefing and vision casting for this year. i'll meet others who are coming on staff. and i'll meet with Alan and Melody about setting up logistics for going back!
for those who haven't heard... i'll be returning to Mozambique this summer for 2 months to assist Janine with hosting the 2-week teams.
w/o going into more detail or getting ahead of myself, i'd just like to ask you to pray a couple things --
* that i wouldn't go work to hard to make a good first impression or establish relationships or find the holes to fit into, but that'd i'd just GO AND BE MYSELF. and let God take care of all the other stuff.
* pray i can just relax and enjoy this ride!
thanks for your prayers and support -- i so value your participation in this adventure.
jen
The Struggle in the Calling
My friend Becky says i need to start talking about it. i do not know
how. i think that i am, whenever i have an interaction w/someone, but
it is sorely incomplete and i feel loss for words. is it an utter
inability to fully identify and process what i'm feeling...to get all
these things that are stuck in my head out where i can look at them. this is my attempt to do that...
it is true i am in a state of bliss after this trip. a new place of
freedom and life. a boldness, a fearlessness with the Lord about just
living. just being. a simplicity to love Him and live each day, in the
moment. yes, all these things are true. but there are also other
things under the surface that are just as true. but elusive.
i identified the other day an underlying sense of sadness that i feel.
and tonight i realize it has added to it low-grade mental anquish.
agony. could these be the right words to describe? let's consult
dictionary.com --
ag·o·ny [ag-uh-nee] –noun, plural -nies.
1. extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering.
2. a display or outburst of intense mental or emotional excitement: an
agony of joy.
3. the struggle preceding natural death: mortal agony.
4. a violent struggle.
5. (often initial capital letter) Theology. the sufferings of Christ
in the garden of Gethsemane.
definition #2 speaks to the fact that there can be various emotions
tied to it, not just anquish (i.e. acute distress, suffering, torture)
but how about the flip side of joy, just around the corner perhaps.
definition #5 refers to Jesus in the garden. His momentary agony for
the eternal joy. perhaps this is most like my struggle. i do feel this
struggle is preceding something significant. it is something to be
gotten through, not avoided. definition #3 intrigues me (though not for natural death, not to worry).
but i ask that you would help pray me through this struggle. the struggle
involves finding God's calling for me. i have never felt Him calling
before, this is all new for me. for the first time in my life i think
He may have a specific job/place for me to go. He has always used me
where i am, i think, and those places were even in His plan, but this
feels like the first time He's showing me something significant, a
place He's prepared for me, and will i step into it.
i have kept close contact with my CRI host Janine since returning,
primarily as one of my new favorite people, but partially as my link
to all this. ...she suggested to me the other day coming to work w/her
next summer for a few months... i don't know all the logistics of how
this could work (and if it could work with my job, my rent, etc), but
i think my first step is even to evaluate if this is God calling me. i
can say honestly that it makes the most sense lining up with the
struggle in me.
God planted something of Africa in my heart a long time ago - drawing
me with the music, the colors, the drums, the dress, i don't know how
to say this, but strangely and unexplainably going there felt like
'home' in a way. this is a such an inadequate way to describe it and
feels too romanticized to say it like that, but it's the only way i
can figure out how to put it into words. and now that i have returned
i acknowledge that i have left a piece of my heart there. it feels
like there is work left to be done for me over there.
i haven't talked much about the worship seminar i did on the last day
there... because it was so unglamorous and felt far less than one
would hope. we spent most of the day in open discussion about some of
their 'issues' as a team, not only frustration in logistics of
leadership and practice times, but issues of trust and love for fellow
team members. these were clearly issues they needed to be talking
about and i'm glad to have provided a place to do that, but it really
only served to leave me with this perspective that what they needed
was someone to model these things and help navigate them through the
daily stuff. and teaching abilities to help move them forward in their
skill levels on their instruments. these are the things i think i can
bring and suspect God may be holding this out to me, but i haven't
fully reconciled this possibility with the fact that it's AFRICA and
that would mean leaving life here for a while.
so i really haven't fully accepted that this is really what's going on -- if
i knew for certain He was calling ME to go, and be who i am, there, it
would be much harder to have the struggle -- because i would KNOW this
is what i had to do. and, for me, once God speaks clearly, i really
can't do anything but obey. so for now i listen and try to discern
what He's saying. and i feel the strain and the struggle.
an·guish [ang-gwish] –noun
3. to suffer, feel, or exhibit anguish: to anguish over the loss of a loved one.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME anguisse < OF < L angustia tight place, equiv.
to angust(us) narrow + -ia -ia; cf. anxious; akin to anger]
—Synonyms 1. agony, torment, torture. See pain.
—Antonyms 1. delight, comfort, relief.
and so here i wait. and i ask for prayer, knowing and holding onto the
promise of hope in the delight, comfort, and relief that comes from
knowing one's purpose and finally saying yes, not just in obedience,
but in loving submission to your Maker.
lyrics from that song Janine sang over me one night during circle time...
"i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands."
thanks for listening. please grab me and pray for me next time you see me!
jen
Eph 4
how. i think that i am, whenever i have an interaction w/someone, but
it is sorely incomplete and i feel loss for words. is it an utter
inability to fully identify and process what i'm feeling...to get all
these things that are stuck in my head out where i can look at them. this is my attempt to do that...
it is true i am in a state of bliss after this trip. a new place of
freedom and life. a boldness, a fearlessness with the Lord about just
living. just being. a simplicity to love Him and live each day, in the
moment. yes, all these things are true. but there are also other
things under the surface that are just as true. but elusive.
i identified the other day an underlying sense of sadness that i feel.
and tonight i realize it has added to it low-grade mental anquish.
agony. could these be the right words to describe? let's consult
dictionary.com --
ag·o·ny [ag-uh-nee] –noun, plural -nies.
1. extreme and generally prolonged pain; intense physical or mental suffering.
2. a display or outburst of intense mental or emotional excitement: an
agony of joy.
3. the struggle preceding natural death: mortal agony.
4. a violent struggle.
5. (often initial capital letter) Theology. the sufferings of Christ
in the garden of Gethsemane.
definition #2 speaks to the fact that there can be various emotions
tied to it, not just anquish (i.e. acute distress, suffering, torture)
but how about the flip side of joy, just around the corner perhaps.
definition #5 refers to Jesus in the garden. His momentary agony for
the eternal joy. perhaps this is most like my struggle. i do feel this
struggle is preceding something significant. it is something to be
gotten through, not avoided. definition #3 intrigues me (though not for natural death, not to worry).
but i ask that you would help pray me through this struggle. the struggle
involves finding God's calling for me. i have never felt Him calling
before, this is all new for me. for the first time in my life i think
He may have a specific job/place for me to go. He has always used me
where i am, i think, and those places were even in His plan, but this
feels like the first time He's showing me something significant, a
place He's prepared for me, and will i step into it.
i have kept close contact with my CRI host Janine since returning,
primarily as one of my new favorite people, but partially as my link
to all this. ...she suggested to me the other day coming to work w/her
next summer for a few months... i don't know all the logistics of how
this could work (and if it could work with my job, my rent, etc), but
i think my first step is even to evaluate if this is God calling me. i
can say honestly that it makes the most sense lining up with the
struggle in me.
God planted something of Africa in my heart a long time ago - drawing
me with the music, the colors, the drums, the dress, i don't know how
to say this, but strangely and unexplainably going there felt like
'home' in a way. this is a such an inadequate way to describe it and
feels too romanticized to say it like that, but it's the only way i
can figure out how to put it into words. and now that i have returned
i acknowledge that i have left a piece of my heart there. it feels
like there is work left to be done for me over there.
i haven't talked much about the worship seminar i did on the last day
there... because it was so unglamorous and felt far less than one
would hope. we spent most of the day in open discussion about some of
their 'issues' as a team, not only frustration in logistics of
leadership and practice times, but issues of trust and love for fellow
team members. these were clearly issues they needed to be talking
about and i'm glad to have provided a place to do that, but it really
only served to leave me with this perspective that what they needed
was someone to model these things and help navigate them through the
daily stuff. and teaching abilities to help move them forward in their
skill levels on their instruments. these are the things i think i can
bring and suspect God may be holding this out to me, but i haven't
fully reconciled this possibility with the fact that it's AFRICA and
that would mean leaving life here for a while.
so i really haven't fully accepted that this is really what's going on -- if
i knew for certain He was calling ME to go, and be who i am, there, it
would be much harder to have the struggle -- because i would KNOW this
is what i had to do. and, for me, once God speaks clearly, i really
can't do anything but obey. so for now i listen and try to discern
what He's saying. and i feel the strain and the struggle.
an·guish [ang-gwish] –noun
3. to suffer, feel, or exhibit anguish: to anguish over the loss of a loved one.
[Origin: 1175–1225; ME anguisse < OF < L angustia tight place, equiv.
to angust(us) narrow + -ia -ia; cf. anxious; akin to anger]
—Synonyms 1. agony, torment, torture. See pain.
—Antonyms 1. delight, comfort, relief.
and so here i wait. and i ask for prayer, knowing and holding onto the
promise of hope in the delight, comfort, and relief that comes from
knowing one's purpose and finally saying yes, not just in obedience,
but in loving submission to your Maker.
lyrics from that song Janine sang over me one night during circle time...
"i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands."
thanks for listening. please grab me and pray for me next time you see me!
jen
Eph 4
This I know
Hello, my friends
We have gone on quite a journey, haven't we? Several of you have
commented how quickly it went, i whole-heartedly agree. It all
happened like a whirlwind, i think the whole team would agree. We
started preparing, meeting as a team regularly, like 6 months ago. God
had work to do on our hearts and in our families/lives to prepare us
for the work He would do in us while we were there. For me, it seems
that He started preparing me for the work He did in Africa before time
began. Please forgive me if it all sounds too huge, but the more i let
it sink it, the more i see how huge it was...
Last night I had the opportunity to help lead worship at our monthly
"re:fresh" service. Some of the regulars weren't able to make it and a
spot opened up for me to step into to take more lead. It was so much
fun. When it was all over and done with i realized some things more
firmly and more freely than i ever have...
-- i LOVE leading a band in worship. i'm good at it, i've had
training, experience, and i just have a talent that comes naturally to
connect with and lead the people behind me. It is a give and take, we
work together, and i'm comfortable in that place. in fact i thrive on
doing it 'together'. the group i work with on re:fresh nights is such
a joy. While in africa i was seen and affirmed in that position as the
one to work with the worship band. It built some more confidence in me
and gave me more freedom to pursue that part of me.
-- i LOVE leading people in worship. i pray for God's heart for them,
i want to be a liason between them, trying to see where their hearts are
and leading them to the Father, and holding out His heart to them as
well, showing them the path to receive it. i love doing this, whether
in small groups (like africa team) or, i realized more fully last
night, in large groups. God's heart is so for people, what can i do to
help the 2 connect? (if you don't know that part of me, i love
relational connections!)
-- and last night, i FORGOT to have any inhibitions. i forgot to get
caught up in myself -- i was moving in freedom and boldness. i believe
these are lessons that came to completion for me IN AFRICA and BECAUSE
OF YOUR PRAYERS. things that God has been doing in me and teaching me for
a very long time seemed to come to a new level of acquisition through
my trip to africa. i learned to be fearless. i learned to not rely on
my gifts, but to just BE myself. i learned to not NEED to give, but to
just be available, content with however God chose to integrate me into
any day or given situation. i learned to not strive for anything. i
learned to enjoy the moment. i learned to not live in my inhibitions
or put myself in a box. i learned to trust God more that He made me
how He made me and His voice is the one i should listen to about that!
In church our final sunday morning there, anita spoke to our new
friends, and to us, about holding treasure in jars of clay. that we
are cracked pots, but God's glory seeps through our cracks. i had
actually already had that scripture on my mind earlier that morning,
thinking about the crazy fact that i was the Worship Leader for our
team and how funny that was to me because i'm not the one with the
best voice, but that God doesn't see that as a hindrance, and He
shines through my cracks (sometimes my voice literally cracks!!!) and
shows Himself - if i let Him and dont' get caught up with myself. Last
night i FORGOT to worry about my voice, being consumed with thoughts
of meeting with God was much more important.
i am a firm believer in the saying "God does not call the equipped, He
equips the called." Do we believe He is big enough to do what He wants
with and through us? Or are we too caught up in our own limitations
and inhibitions? I challenge you, friends, to throw caution to the
wind, believe for the big things, and believe He can do them through
you.
i also want to THANK YOU for helping pray me to this next level.
There's so many reasons for this trip, but this morning i am joyfully
and profoundly thankful for the way it personally impacted and brought
me into more freedom and more of who God made me to be. I am loving
life so much with so much peace right now. I dont' know what God has
in store for me next, but i feel really good about living each day
here and now, and then...we'll see...
in case i didnt' mention before, or you couldn't tell, i did leave a
piece of my heart in Mozambique and am wrestling with what that might
mean for me. I'm sure it means i'll be going back next year -- and
would love to take each one of you with me this time!! If this is
something that stirs in you, let me know and i'll start praying with
you about it :)
thanks for listening. thanks for journeying with me. i and the team
would love to share more stories - and pictures! - with you: Saturday,
Nov 17 at 7pm at VOP.
Gracas a Deus!
jen
We have gone on quite a journey, haven't we? Several of you have
commented how quickly it went, i whole-heartedly agree. It all
happened like a whirlwind, i think the whole team would agree. We
started preparing, meeting as a team regularly, like 6 months ago. God
had work to do on our hearts and in our families/lives to prepare us
for the work He would do in us while we were there. For me, it seems
that He started preparing me for the work He did in Africa before time
began. Please forgive me if it all sounds too huge, but the more i let
it sink it, the more i see how huge it was...
Last night I had the opportunity to help lead worship at our monthly
"re:fresh" service. Some of the regulars weren't able to make it and a
spot opened up for me to step into to take more lead. It was so much
fun. When it was all over and done with i realized some things more
firmly and more freely than i ever have...
-- i LOVE leading a band in worship. i'm good at it, i've had
training, experience, and i just have a talent that comes naturally to
connect with and lead the people behind me. It is a give and take, we
work together, and i'm comfortable in that place. in fact i thrive on
doing it 'together'. the group i work with on re:fresh nights is such
a joy. While in africa i was seen and affirmed in that position as the
one to work with the worship band. It built some more confidence in me
and gave me more freedom to pursue that part of me.
-- i LOVE leading people in worship. i pray for God's heart for them,
i want to be a liason between them, trying to see where their hearts are
and leading them to the Father, and holding out His heart to them as
well, showing them the path to receive it. i love doing this, whether
in small groups (like africa team) or, i realized more fully last
night, in large groups. God's heart is so for people, what can i do to
help the 2 connect? (if you don't know that part of me, i love
relational connections!)
-- and last night, i FORGOT to have any inhibitions. i forgot to get
caught up in myself -- i was moving in freedom and boldness. i believe
these are lessons that came to completion for me IN AFRICA and BECAUSE
OF YOUR PRAYERS. things that God has been doing in me and teaching me for
a very long time seemed to come to a new level of acquisition through
my trip to africa. i learned to be fearless. i learned to not rely on
my gifts, but to just BE myself. i learned to not NEED to give, but to
just be available, content with however God chose to integrate me into
any day or given situation. i learned to not strive for anything. i
learned to enjoy the moment. i learned to not live in my inhibitions
or put myself in a box. i learned to trust God more that He made me
how He made me and His voice is the one i should listen to about that!
In church our final sunday morning there, anita spoke to our new
friends, and to us, about holding treasure in jars of clay. that we
are cracked pots, but God's glory seeps through our cracks. i had
actually already had that scripture on my mind earlier that morning,
thinking about the crazy fact that i was the Worship Leader for our
team and how funny that was to me because i'm not the one with the
best voice, but that God doesn't see that as a hindrance, and He
shines through my cracks (sometimes my voice literally cracks!!!) and
shows Himself - if i let Him and dont' get caught up with myself. Last
night i FORGOT to worry about my voice, being consumed with thoughts
of meeting with God was much more important.
i am a firm believer in the saying "God does not call the equipped, He
equips the called." Do we believe He is big enough to do what He wants
with and through us? Or are we too caught up in our own limitations
and inhibitions? I challenge you, friends, to throw caution to the
wind, believe for the big things, and believe He can do them through
you.
i also want to THANK YOU for helping pray me to this next level.
There's so many reasons for this trip, but this morning i am joyfully
and profoundly thankful for the way it personally impacted and brought
me into more freedom and more of who God made me to be. I am loving
life so much with so much peace right now. I dont' know what God has
in store for me next, but i feel really good about living each day
here and now, and then...we'll see...
in case i didnt' mention before, or you couldn't tell, i did leave a
piece of my heart in Mozambique and am wrestling with what that might
mean for me. I'm sure it means i'll be going back next year -- and
would love to take each one of you with me this time!! If this is
something that stirs in you, let me know and i'll start praying with
you about it :)
thanks for listening. thanks for journeying with me. i and the team
would love to share more stories - and pictures! - with you: Saturday,
Nov 17 at 7pm at VOP.
Gracas a Deus!
jen
10.29.07
hello, friends -
i am home at last. 31 hours of travel. we started yesterday after
church and arrived to ohare this afternoon. it was a really good
journey, actually. thanks for all your prayers.
i promise to send a little more details of our wrap up time there.
just couldn't bring myself to write on saturday night (sad) and then
we've been in the air ever since.
i have instructions to stay awake until at least 9pm tonight to help
adjust to this time schedule. so will head to a send off for some
friends who are leaving for france this week to explore what God might
have for them there. too cool. God's always up to somethign, isn't He?
let me know how you and yours are. i'll be around this week to chat
over email :)
love,
jen
i am home at last. 31 hours of travel. we started yesterday after
church and arrived to ohare this afternoon. it was a really good
journey, actually. thanks for all your prayers.
i promise to send a little more details of our wrap up time there.
just couldn't bring myself to write on saturday night (sad) and then
we've been in the air ever since.
i have instructions to stay awake until at least 9pm tonight to help
adjust to this time schedule. so will head to a send off for some
friends who are leaving for france this week to explore what God might
have for them there. too cool. God's always up to somethign, isn't He?
let me know how you and yours are. i'll be around this week to chat
over email :)
love,
jen
10.26.07
Hello Home Team
it was very hard to start saying our goodbyes tonight. i definitely
feel that i'm leaving a piece of my heart here in mozambique. it's
crazy the friendships and connections w/people that have been made in
this short time, in spite of the language barrier. God has brought us
together by His divine hand and will be our glue.
i wish i could tell more, but must turn my attention to the morning's
worship seminar. i feel like i'm on the verge of discovering God's
intentions for tomorrow... not quite there...but feels really close...
i guess i'll be seeing you soon. sad to leave here.
jen
it was very hard to start saying our goodbyes tonight. i definitely
feel that i'm leaving a piece of my heart here in mozambique. it's
crazy the friendships and connections w/people that have been made in
this short time, in spite of the language barrier. God has brought us
together by His divine hand and will be our glue.
i wish i could tell more, but must turn my attention to the morning's
worship seminar. i feel like i'm on the verge of discovering God's
intentions for tomorrow... not quite there...but feels really close...
i guess i'll be seeing you soon. sad to leave here.
jen
10.25.07
Not sure i have an update in me tonight. things are good. we're all
kind of in a groove with our projects (sharon teaching baking class,
lauren and anna with sewing class for teens, jennie and i on
powerpoint, anita teaching leaders, debbie and randy planting maringa
seeds/trees, jeff doing electrical work providing much needed light in
dimly lit places, cathy loving on people and being absolutely embraced
here, deb g stepping out and becoming more and more of her shining
self). most end tomorrow then the team goes to Beira for final
souvenier shopping on saturday - without me cuz i have the worship
team seminar in the morning.
i had a good initial meeting w/the worship leader, Edmundo, today to
talk through possibilities of what i'd speak on. need to sort it out
w/God tomorrow. pls pray that i'd really know His plan for our time
and just cooperate w/what He wants to do. i don't think it will be
instruction as much as it is encouraing them in the things he's
teaching and modeling like living a life of worship and some basics
about our leaderhsip from the platform. i also want to spend some time
talking about that worship is more than singing our praises to God,
that He wants to speak back to us and how to make place for that in
our time, particularly through the instruments and how to navigate
that with your worship leader. i'm not expecting to change any
methods, just open them up a bit more as i bring what i have
experienced and can offer.
they also have just acquired a new drum set and are eager for me to
teaching them how to play it, so we'll see how the time goes. i do
plan to pull in a lot more of the traditional drums as we workshop on
listening for God. it's strange to see them trying to do a more
western style on sundays. they do not for their evening meetings - or
at the church plants in the bush - it is all singing (gorgeous
harmonies) with sometimes hand drum/s and tonight at meeting they had
one guitar and voice leading from the middle of the group of us in
chairs. so beautiful, and pure. the Lord's presence is so strong it
always takes me a while to break out of it when it's over :) ahhhh....
and on that happy note. until tomorrow. pls start praying for our
transitions and for people's future plans here. these things are
already pulling on us.
much love,
jen
kind of in a groove with our projects (sharon teaching baking class,
lauren and anna with sewing class for teens, jennie and i on
powerpoint, anita teaching leaders, debbie and randy planting maringa
seeds/trees, jeff doing electrical work providing much needed light in
dimly lit places, cathy loving on people and being absolutely embraced
here, deb g stepping out and becoming more and more of her shining
self). most end tomorrow then the team goes to Beira for final
souvenier shopping on saturday - without me cuz i have the worship
team seminar in the morning.
i had a good initial meeting w/the worship leader, Edmundo, today to
talk through possibilities of what i'd speak on. need to sort it out
w/God tomorrow. pls pray that i'd really know His plan for our time
and just cooperate w/what He wants to do. i don't think it will be
instruction as much as it is encouraing them in the things he's
teaching and modeling like living a life of worship and some basics
about our leaderhsip from the platform. i also want to spend some time
talking about that worship is more than singing our praises to God,
that He wants to speak back to us and how to make place for that in
our time, particularly through the instruments and how to navigate
that with your worship leader. i'm not expecting to change any
methods, just open them up a bit more as i bring what i have
experienced and can offer.
they also have just acquired a new drum set and are eager for me to
teaching them how to play it, so we'll see how the time goes. i do
plan to pull in a lot more of the traditional drums as we workshop on
listening for God. it's strange to see them trying to do a more
western style on sundays. they do not for their evening meetings - or
at the church plants in the bush - it is all singing (gorgeous
harmonies) with sometimes hand drum/s and tonight at meeting they had
one guitar and voice leading from the middle of the group of us in
chairs. so beautiful, and pure. the Lord's presence is so strong it
always takes me a while to break out of it when it's over :) ahhhh....
and on that happy note. until tomorrow. pls start praying for our
transitions and for people's future plans here. these things are
already pulling on us.
much love,
jen
10.24.07
Hellooo mighty mighty prayer team!
We are 9 days into this stuff in Dondo and i'd like to take a break to
say thanks for your general prayers that started probalby more than 9
days ago. things like safe travels on the way, that we got all our
luggage and all the supplies got through customs (some close calls but
the prayers pulled them through!). thanks for your prayers for our
protection and comfort here. so far everyone has survived the bathroom
conditions :) which are pretty close to like home here in the house
(just can't flush any paper, it goes in a little lidded bucket next to
the toilet) and not quite so nice when we're out but doing okay :)
no one has gotten sick other than a little over exposure
to the sun and needing to lay down for a bit. we've not had any
problems with insect bits or worms or anything funny like that. IN
FACT we've not hardly seen ANY mosquitos!! they are unusually light
for this time of year. praise God.
yes, praise God. He is so good to us. and He gives each of us what we
need when we need it. we seem to be taking turns having days of rest -
planned by the Lord, not our plans, but He knows we need them and need
Him. please pray for more of this time when we introverts need it. it
is quite a new experience for most of us to be traveling and living in
such a big group 24/7. also, pray specifically towards the fact that
we are getting more comfortable here and that somehow allows us to
revert back to some normal behaviors, which can be a little trickier
than when we are all green and ultra-relying on God. does that make
sense? thanks for your coverage, praise God He is meeting us right
where we are and will continue to. we are continually amazed at the
ways He is healing and meeting each of us individually in ways that
have nothing to do with the ministry here.
today was my day to go to the hospital to serve soup. this meant a few
of us went with "mother teresa" woman from brazil and 2 translators -
one in portugeuse and one in sena as they took soup around to each
room. we spent a little time in each, one of us would pray outloud for
the room then MT might explain the gospel and sometimes we would pray
for specific healing for specific patients. the conditions in the
hosptial were just terrible including what looked like roaches
crawling up and down the walls and bedside tables. some comfort showed
itself in the familiy members who were with their loved one but not
most. most patients just lay still and looked miserable. you may have
seen a picture anita took while she was here that we put on the front
of our Hope for Africa brochures -- this was not a manufactured shot -
that is really what many of them look like. all pretty bad and once my
breath was actually taken away as i turned the corner into one room
and saw the woman on the bed nearest the door. i... yeah not sure i
can explain it. but the cool part about us being there was actually
having this feeling that we were bringing light and hope and jesus and
praying in belief and power for God to be there and to do something in
each one's heart and body. we have already had one good report of a
woman that our first team prayed for. now that is way cool. but today
even the instant connections i felt in eye contact with a few and the
hope dust that we shook off our feet and left with the ones who stayed
with them. yeah, way cool too.
side note: oh man is it hot here today!
it continues to blow me away how THANKFUL the nationals are we are
working with. the ones that have jesus really have jesus. like i said
before the lines are so clear here - good/bad, God/witchdoctors and
darkness. it is overwhelming for sure, but also freeing and somehow
easier to deal with. things in amercia are so much more complicated,
you know what i mean?
over and out for tonight.
your friend,
jen
We are 9 days into this stuff in Dondo and i'd like to take a break to
say thanks for your general prayers that started probalby more than 9
days ago. things like safe travels on the way, that we got all our
luggage and all the supplies got through customs (some close calls but
the prayers pulled them through!). thanks for your prayers for our
protection and comfort here. so far everyone has survived the bathroom
conditions :) which are pretty close to like home here in the house
(just can't flush any paper, it goes in a little lidded bucket next to
the toilet) and not quite so nice when we're out but doing okay :)
no one has gotten sick other than a little over exposure
to the sun and needing to lay down for a bit. we've not had any
problems with insect bits or worms or anything funny like that. IN
FACT we've not hardly seen ANY mosquitos!! they are unusually light
for this time of year. praise God.
yes, praise God. He is so good to us. and He gives each of us what we
need when we need it. we seem to be taking turns having days of rest -
planned by the Lord, not our plans, but He knows we need them and need
Him. please pray for more of this time when we introverts need it. it
is quite a new experience for most of us to be traveling and living in
such a big group 24/7. also, pray specifically towards the fact that
we are getting more comfortable here and that somehow allows us to
revert back to some normal behaviors, which can be a little trickier
than when we are all green and ultra-relying on God. does that make
sense? thanks for your coverage, praise God He is meeting us right
where we are and will continue to. we are continually amazed at the
ways He is healing and meeting each of us individually in ways that
have nothing to do with the ministry here.
today was my day to go to the hospital to serve soup. this meant a few
of us went with "mother teresa" woman from brazil and 2 translators -
one in portugeuse and one in sena as they took soup around to each
room. we spent a little time in each, one of us would pray outloud for
the room then MT might explain the gospel and sometimes we would pray
for specific healing for specific patients. the conditions in the
hosptial were just terrible including what looked like roaches
crawling up and down the walls and bedside tables. some comfort showed
itself in the familiy members who were with their loved one but not
most. most patients just lay still and looked miserable. you may have
seen a picture anita took while she was here that we put on the front
of our Hope for Africa brochures -- this was not a manufactured shot -
that is really what many of them look like. all pretty bad and once my
breath was actually taken away as i turned the corner into one room
and saw the woman on the bed nearest the door. i... yeah not sure i
can explain it. but the cool part about us being there was actually
having this feeling that we were bringing light and hope and jesus and
praying in belief and power for God to be there and to do something in
each one's heart and body. we have already had one good report of a
woman that our first team prayed for. now that is way cool. but today
even the instant connections i felt in eye contact with a few and the
hope dust that we shook off our feet and left with the ones who stayed
with them. yeah, way cool too.
side note: oh man is it hot here today!
it continues to blow me away how THANKFUL the nationals are we are
working with. the ones that have jesus really have jesus. like i said
before the lines are so clear here - good/bad, God/witchdoctors and
darkness. it is overwhelming for sure, but also freeing and somehow
easier to deal with. things in amercia are so much more complicated,
you know what i mean?
over and out for tonight.
your friend,
jen
10.23.07
Every night we shared 'highs and lows'. it helps us process where we
ourselves are at, and also to hear where everyone else is at so we can
care for each other. and get to hear the stuff we are facing and the
stuff God is doing. i tell you it seems to elevate every day! i sat
here at the table thinking about what i would share and so many
moments from today came to mind that were highs, lows. not as many
lows. but many things happened to me or through me or near me that
touched me i can't begin to recount. (makes me feel like so many of my
days back home are so dull...could i really come up with lists of
highs and lows? it's quite amazing to live life here)
some of the ones that ran through my mind from today are...
-- i spent the morning at the daycare. the kids were just darling -
old enough to sit in a chair and sing songs. i was sad because of the
ways i saw some of them developmentally stunted. it actually confused
me some of their behavior and/or look in thier eyes. but most and in
spite of those things were just kids being kids. trying to sit still
and share colors and blow bubbles from my wand and pick me for duck
duck goose (but they sang a call and response song - in portugeuse -
as they walked around the circle to pick one!). cathy and i were there
together and just laughed and slopped our way through the words when
it was our turn.
-- one of the games we had to run to the caller - kind of like simon
says - doing the action she called for. one of the runs was to hold
the ear of a friend as you ran. my ear got held by little agusto. so
darn cute. i laughed the whole way :)
-- getting to know one of the nationals - almost laughing like friends
at times - Zito, the guy who acquired my drum for me and will come
paint it on friday morning. we are trying to set up a lesson so i can
get some tips on playing it. yeah! zito has run into
some trouble but turned his life back to the Lord and working to
rebuild trust w/people here. he is SO GREAT. i love His spirit and
smile - and he has am amazing voice too! and beautiful wife and 2
adorable daughters.
-- i learned enough powerpoint from jennie sitting around after lunch
that i helped teach class this afternoon. the 5 guys who took it were
thanking God ("Graças a Deus") for the opportunity to learn it when
our time was done. and thanking us ("obrigado") too. they amaze me.
-- had some free time after my powerpoint class that i noticed the
church was open (it's right next door to all the happenings: school
classes, baking class, sewing, jeff working on electrical stuff, etc)
and so as i waited for others to finish i snuck in and started playing
on their new drum set. i have to tell you i had so much fun, it was
like a cherry ontop - a mob of about 15 ten-year-old boys came running
in. one caught my eye and gave me the thumbs up.
all in all, i had a really good day.
but here's an example of one of our team member's high/low today...
she and Pam (another CRI women who is here with her husband for a few
weeks working and planning for longer term stuff) got called on to
come pick up a woman who was almost comatose, dying to take her to
hospital. she had cerebral malaria. the family had waited too long to
take her to get medicine. the family, instead yesterday had taken her
to the witchdoctor, who gave her 'medicine' (poison) and put a curse
on her. that's what the witchdoctors do. the family thinks they are
helping them. it is cultural to take people to witchdoctors. even
though these people are now christians, they ran back to what they
knew in this time. we heard news that the woman died this afternoon.
it hit many of us hard today.
the same team member walked around the village with Project Life today
and visited people with aids in their homes. she walked through this
evange-cube with a woman and tag teaming with the brazilian women,
Marilene (think mother teresa), helped this woman dying of aids accept
Christ. our team member was so elated - it was her 'first time' being
a part of 'anything like that'.
this same woman stood up, overcame her nervousness, and gave her
testimony at the prayer meeting at church tonight. mighty mighty
stuff! God be glorified. we praise Him. blessed be the name of the
Lord, blessed be your name... blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed
be your glorious name...
i must head to bed, but wanted to give you a snapshot for today.
please pray for Pam, our CRI helper, and her husband Phil. we have
prayed to be a blessing to Janine, now it's time to spread that prayer
coverage a little more. they are retired and currently here where we
are, helping drive our large group around and host half the team. and
do their own projects as well. pam is a great photographer and
promises to burn a disc for us from our time w/her :)
good night dear ones,
jen
ourselves are at, and also to hear where everyone else is at so we can
care for each other. and get to hear the stuff we are facing and the
stuff God is doing. i tell you it seems to elevate every day! i sat
here at the table thinking about what i would share and so many
moments from today came to mind that were highs, lows. not as many
lows. but many things happened to me or through me or near me that
touched me i can't begin to recount. (makes me feel like so many of my
days back home are so dull...could i really come up with lists of
highs and lows? it's quite amazing to live life here)
some of the ones that ran through my mind from today are...
-- i spent the morning at the daycare. the kids were just darling -
old enough to sit in a chair and sing songs. i was sad because of the
ways i saw some of them developmentally stunted. it actually confused
me some of their behavior and/or look in thier eyes. but most and in
spite of those things were just kids being kids. trying to sit still
and share colors and blow bubbles from my wand and pick me for duck
duck goose (but they sang a call and response song - in portugeuse -
as they walked around the circle to pick one!). cathy and i were there
together and just laughed and slopped our way through the words when
it was our turn.
-- one of the games we had to run to the caller - kind of like simon
says - doing the action she called for. one of the runs was to hold
the ear of a friend as you ran. my ear got held by little agusto. so
darn cute. i laughed the whole way :)
-- getting to know one of the nationals - almost laughing like friends
at times - Zito, the guy who acquired my drum for me and will come
paint it on friday morning. we are trying to set up a lesson so i can
get some tips on playing it. yeah! zito has run into
some trouble but turned his life back to the Lord and working to
rebuild trust w/people here. he is SO GREAT. i love His spirit and
smile - and he has am amazing voice too! and beautiful wife and 2
adorable daughters.
-- i learned enough powerpoint from jennie sitting around after lunch
that i helped teach class this afternoon. the 5 guys who took it were
thanking God ("Graças a Deus") for the opportunity to learn it when
our time was done. and thanking us ("obrigado") too. they amaze me.
-- had some free time after my powerpoint class that i noticed the
church was open (it's right next door to all the happenings: school
classes, baking class, sewing, jeff working on electrical stuff, etc)
and so as i waited for others to finish i snuck in and started playing
on their new drum set. i have to tell you i had so much fun, it was
like a cherry ontop - a mob of about 15 ten-year-old boys came running
in. one caught my eye and gave me the thumbs up.
all in all, i had a really good day.
but here's an example of one of our team member's high/low today...
she and Pam (another CRI women who is here with her husband for a few
weeks working and planning for longer term stuff) got called on to
come pick up a woman who was almost comatose, dying to take her to
hospital. she had cerebral malaria. the family had waited too long to
take her to get medicine. the family, instead yesterday had taken her
to the witchdoctor, who gave her 'medicine' (poison) and put a curse
on her. that's what the witchdoctors do. the family thinks they are
helping them. it is cultural to take people to witchdoctors. even
though these people are now christians, they ran back to what they
knew in this time. we heard news that the woman died this afternoon.
it hit many of us hard today.
the same team member walked around the village with Project Life today
and visited people with aids in their homes. she walked through this
evange-cube with a woman and tag teaming with the brazilian women,
Marilene (think mother teresa), helped this woman dying of aids accept
Christ. our team member was so elated - it was her 'first time' being
a part of 'anything like that'.
this same woman stood up, overcame her nervousness, and gave her
testimony at the prayer meeting at church tonight. mighty mighty
stuff! God be glorified. we praise Him. blessed be the name of the
Lord, blessed be your name... blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed
be your glorious name...
i must head to bed, but wanted to give you a snapshot for today.
please pray for Pam, our CRI helper, and her husband Phil. we have
prayed to be a blessing to Janine, now it's time to spread that prayer
coverage a little more. they are retired and currently here where we
are, helping drive our large group around and host half the team. and
do their own projects as well. pam is a great photographer and
promises to burn a disc for us from our time w/her :)
good night dear ones,
jen
10.22.07
i'm sad.
it would be impossible to try and put into words because i don't know exactly why myself. but for the team...
it is our halfway point. we have had a good weekend with a nice mix of 'working' and resting and playing - we went to the Savane beach today. it was amazing. but now we prepare to go into a full week starting tomorrow morning. new stuff. the week to see if we really can make a difference here. the week for many of us to jump into the projects we planned to do here (teach sewing, cooking, power point, worship team). it's also the week to wrestle with all the feelings that have already started surfacing about going home and living 'normal life'. and the week to hear what God may have for the Vineyard's Hope for Africa team and also each of us individually going from here.
we are truly LIVING here (doesnt' feel like visiting). our hearts are here. our feet have planted themselves, for many of us, in mozambiquan soil.
please keep praying for our protection as we go out this week.
for our efforts to be all that God has in mind for them to be.
for us to receive more of His heart and His perspective as we walk among the people.
and to hear from the Lord in personal, real ways. He is doing so much. and we need Him to do so much more.
thanks, friends.
much love,
jen
it would be impossible to try and put into words because i don't know exactly why myself. but for the team...
it is our halfway point. we have had a good weekend with a nice mix of 'working' and resting and playing - we went to the Savane beach today. it was amazing. but now we prepare to go into a full week starting tomorrow morning. new stuff. the week to see if we really can make a difference here. the week for many of us to jump into the projects we planned to do here (teach sewing, cooking, power point, worship team). it's also the week to wrestle with all the feelings that have already started surfacing about going home and living 'normal life'. and the week to hear what God may have for the Vineyard's Hope for Africa team and also each of us individually going from here.
we are truly LIVING here (doesnt' feel like visiting). our hearts are here. our feet have planted themselves, for many of us, in mozambiquan soil.
please keep praying for our protection as we go out this week.
for our efforts to be all that God has in mind for them to be.
for us to receive more of His heart and His perspective as we walk among the people.
and to hear from the Lord in personal, real ways. He is doing so much. and we need Him to do so much more.
thanks, friends.
much love,
jen
10.21.07
i love this prayer team. you guys are awesome. whether you are
actively running through these requests each day or lifting them up as
the holy spirit prompts you or just keeping us in your heart and
letting jesus intercede through that keeping, i appreciate it!
i have a few cool God moments i will share with you tonight that are
personal to me. okay, did i share with you that i couldn't find my
testimony i had written out and might get called on to share this
morning in church? so i really needed to find it. well, of course (as
some of you predicted, i'm sure) God had different plans. i'd been
struggling with 'how do i relate to the people here, in communication,
in emotion, in connection' and to need to rewrite my story to share
really forced me to think through these issues. what parts would i
share and how. after a good conversation with our team leader (jennie)
i remembered it all boiled down to the emotion of it. some emtions
that connect for me are: we all feel alone at times, we all need to
know we're loved unconditionally, that God will never leave or forsake
us. that He calls us to go and preach the good news to all the world
and he will be with us.
alright, i'm gonna let you in on one step deeper, just because God's
so cool and i want to shout about it :) last night i emailed my
roomate and a few friends to see if one of them could do a search by
my desk where i think i left it, and then email it to me. if they were
able to do it, it woudl be in my inbox when i woke up this morning.
otherwise i'd have to write one. which meant pressing into God and His
heart for the people i've now started to meet. i suspected He may want
me to do this, but i was going to hold out and see if He provided the
lost testimony this morning through email. i almost felt guilty as i
woke up this morning thinking maybe i shouldn't even check my email,
jsut rewrite it. but do you think i had that much self-discipline not
to even check? would you? not me. so here's where god steps in and
helps...
wanna know how?
the electricity went off this morning in the house! i could not get on
the internet. never mind the shower, etc. but i knew. i knew. so i
made a commitment in my heart that i would rewrite that testimony and
not look in my email for it, then i prayed together with sharon and we
asked God to give us the power back. after we prayed i went straight
to my room, to my knees, and started writing that thing. guess what
had happened by the time i finished? yup, fan started blowing nicely
on me :) and i got to shower :) and praise God!!
second fun thing today: i had a very nice conversation with one of the
CRI staff that lives here, she is the nurse. she is from IOWA. near
where my grandparents live and so we talked about shopping at the
cedar rapids mall for school clothes, being in 4-H, goign to fairs and
eating corn dogs. farm stuff. i can't even get that kind of connection
in chicago. it was just lovely :)
last little joy i'll share is from tonight's group "hi/low" time. we
all shared then closed with praying randomly for each other. i was the
last one and instead of praying janine sang a song over me...
i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands.
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when i call.
special to me because of these secrets that i had in my heart from
today: (1) i prayed this morning about the electricity to come on and
he heard me, and (2) i did have some tears fall today as i took some
quiet time after a nap to read through ephesians 4:1-5:21. no reason,
God is just good. all the time. God is good. and He has plans for me.
for you too.
rest in that tonight, my friends. He is watching over you and i bet
He's tugging at your heart about something...
much love,
jen
actively running through these requests each day or lifting them up as
the holy spirit prompts you or just keeping us in your heart and
letting jesus intercede through that keeping, i appreciate it!
i have a few cool God moments i will share with you tonight that are
personal to me. okay, did i share with you that i couldn't find my
testimony i had written out and might get called on to share this
morning in church? so i really needed to find it. well, of course (as
some of you predicted, i'm sure) God had different plans. i'd been
struggling with 'how do i relate to the people here, in communication,
in emotion, in connection' and to need to rewrite my story to share
really forced me to think through these issues. what parts would i
share and how. after a good conversation with our team leader (jennie)
i remembered it all boiled down to the emotion of it. some emtions
that connect for me are: we all feel alone at times, we all need to
know we're loved unconditionally, that God will never leave or forsake
us. that He calls us to go and preach the good news to all the world
and he will be with us.
alright, i'm gonna let you in on one step deeper, just because God's
so cool and i want to shout about it :) last night i emailed my
roomate and a few friends to see if one of them could do a search by
my desk where i think i left it, and then email it to me. if they were
able to do it, it woudl be in my inbox when i woke up this morning.
otherwise i'd have to write one. which meant pressing into God and His
heart for the people i've now started to meet. i suspected He may want
me to do this, but i was going to hold out and see if He provided the
lost testimony this morning through email. i almost felt guilty as i
woke up this morning thinking maybe i shouldn't even check my email,
jsut rewrite it. but do you think i had that much self-discipline not
to even check? would you? not me. so here's where god steps in and
helps...
wanna know how?
the electricity went off this morning in the house! i could not get on
the internet. never mind the shower, etc. but i knew. i knew. so i
made a commitment in my heart that i would rewrite that testimony and
not look in my email for it, then i prayed together with sharon and we
asked God to give us the power back. after we prayed i went straight
to my room, to my knees, and started writing that thing. guess what
had happened by the time i finished? yup, fan started blowing nicely
on me :) and i got to shower :) and praise God!!
second fun thing today: i had a very nice conversation with one of the
CRI staff that lives here, she is the nurse. she is from IOWA. near
where my grandparents live and so we talked about shopping at the
cedar rapids mall for school clothes, being in 4-H, goign to fairs and
eating corn dogs. farm stuff. i can't even get that kind of connection
in chicago. it was just lovely :)
last little joy i'll share is from tonight's group "hi/low" time. we
all shared then closed with praying randomly for each other. i was the
last one and instead of praying janine sang a song over me...
i have a maker.
he formed my heart.
before even time began
my life was in His hands.
He knows my name
He knows my every thought
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when i call.
special to me because of these secrets that i had in my heart from
today: (1) i prayed this morning about the electricity to come on and
he heard me, and (2) i did have some tears fall today as i took some
quiet time after a nap to read through ephesians 4:1-5:21. no reason,
God is just good. all the time. God is good. and He has plans for me.
for you too.
rest in that tonight, my friends. He is watching over you and i bet
He's tugging at your heart about something...
much love,
jen
10.20.07
Boa Noit!
Today was the day i went with half my team to the Savanee church
plant. we piled in the truck (truck-like with room for one shotgun, 3
or 4 in the back seat and 2 or 3 if you really must in the backback,
riding backwards and feeling all the bumps really well). guess where
jeff and i rode today for our 45 minute journey over bumpy and/or
washboardy roads? yep you guessed it. did i mention dusty with the
back window cracked? actually that's not a direct correlation - it
RAINED last night and so the dust on the road was settled which meant
we got to have the window cracked a bit for air. it was still dusty,
everywhere, it always is.
i survived and volunteered to ride in the same spot on the way back...
so i could practice my attitude & try to get it right that time ;)
we were greeted by a little guy - maybe 4 yrs old - standing my
himself as we entered the village area. he followed us to the church.
BIG eyes. we find out that his mother left him and father is not a
very good caretaker (we didn't see him) and that this little guy,
Nando, has mental problems. i could also see some physical sores, eyes
weren't quite right, and breathing was raspy at times. anita scooped
him up on her lap and we gathered round to pray. he just looked around
with big eyes, squirming a bit, but settled, even nestled, as we
prayed. he did not speak or try to communicate; just taking it all
with big eyes. as were we. later, after Pastor Jeronimo started our
meeting, Nando made his way over to me, so scooped him up. of course i
wrestled with a few thoughts about the filth and safety of it, but in
the end how can you argue with the voice that says 'God has given us
opportunity to love on this boy and there is such great need. to see
him reach out now for love, putting his arms up around my neck,
touching the buttons on my shirt, how can you turn away from that?'
oh - i forgot to tell you i had grabbed my drum to take along today
and did have a chance to play on it for the first time in the one room
dirt floor mud-packed-for-walls church as our team got settled (but
before the mozambiquens started to come in). it was pretty significant
to me to be playing this drum for the FIRST TIME in this small church
out in the african bush as we prepared to minister. by the time things
got rolling i was holding Nando and so one of our interpreters
(augustino from the dondo church) asked if he could play it. it truly
was an experience to be in the midst of my first african worship time
of singing and dancing and one drummer drumming. it was all raw,
nothing electric, no instruments from the stage, a few ladies and
nearly all the children just gathered in the open area of this room
between the benches where we sat facing forward and the few chairs at
the front for the pastor, etc. but it was loud and true call-response
singing and a lot of feet moving! i did what i could to stand and do
some feet moving wtih Nando in my arms :)
the children's activities went very well, thanks. we had fun outside
in a large group with a ball/circle, some name sharing and 'jesus
loves me and jesus loves you' interaction (in Portuguese), a bed sheet
used for a parachute game where we would take turns going under god's
blessings, an enactment using volunteers of how you can't get to god
on your own ("Q: how do get from here to there but you can't step on
any dirt? A: jesus carries you) and then we ended by handing out
bottles of bubbles. can you believe we had JUST ENOUGH? it was the
same story with the women who were educating about personal hygiene
and handing out packets of shampoo/conditioner - they also thought
they were going to run out but ended up having JUST ENOUGH. EXACTLY -
in both cases exactly. now that gave us goosebumps when we swapped
stories on the ride home!
i think i will end with that. for more of the experience, you simply
must join me next time.
good night, faithful prayers. and thanks for your encouraging replies
as well - nice to hear from you and you are here with me :)
tomorrow - i'll be with the group that stays here. pray for the ones
that go to the other church plant and their various pieces of
sharing/teaching. and pray for us as we may be asked to give our
testimony (i can't find mine that wrote out specifically to work with
translation). we may also attend a baby dedication tomorrow in the
afternoon. if so, this promises to be very powerful - when babies are
born they remain in the home until they have either the church come to
the house to dedicate them to the Lord OR they have a witchdoctor come
(more common) and dedicate them. people here pay witch doctors for
protection, provision, health, to conceive, etc. if you see a child
walking around with a string tied to their wrist or ankle or waist,
their families had them dedicated by a witchdoctor. the power the
witchdoctor pedals is real. but in the end always destroys. well, even
from the beginning it is bondage, even if they do, for example, find a
job or get pregnant. the evil always has its control -- until jesus is
invited into the picture. jesus always wins. He is always more
powerful than the evil one. He already has the victory. we are on the
winning side. we are working to bring more of His light, love, freedom
into people's lives. the battle we fight is real and pretty obvious
here. i was thinking the other day - to take a trip like this is kind
of like "spiritual warfare for dummies". you can't miss it. it is
NIGHT AND DAY to see the differnce in the eyes, on the faces and in
the countenance of the christians here. the ones who don't have jesus
can be very dark as they stare at our truck go by on our way to one of
the Ray of Light projects. satan does not want us here. we want to be
here. we worship god and sing a lot and process together and encourage
one another. and have good leaders to help us. and God is faithful, He
will not lead us where we are not ready to go.
tonight in our group devotions we sang:
if you say go, we will go
if you say wait, we will wait
if you say step out on the water, and they say it cant' be done,
we'll fix our eyes on you and we will come.
continue to pray for our hearts to be affected by the Lord's great
love and He molds and shapes us to be people wtih greater capacity to
carry this love to the ones He loves. and us too.
pray for each person to get what they need each day. we realized
tonight we are a group of introverts and each need to find some time
alone!
wow, this turned into a long email. and of course i didn't even cover
everything!
good night dear friends. please remember to say a quick prayer for our
sleep. we don't take that for granted and it can so effect us to not
be rested for days that are demanding both physically and emotionally.
and i pray the blood of jesus over our dreams too.
blessings and jesus blood cover you too -
jen
Today was the day i went with half my team to the Savanee church
plant. we piled in the truck (truck-like with room for one shotgun, 3
or 4 in the back seat and 2 or 3 if you really must in the backback,
riding backwards and feeling all the bumps really well). guess where
jeff and i rode today for our 45 minute journey over bumpy and/or
washboardy roads? yep you guessed it. did i mention dusty with the
back window cracked? actually that's not a direct correlation - it
RAINED last night and so the dust on the road was settled which meant
we got to have the window cracked a bit for air. it was still dusty,
everywhere, it always is.
i survived and volunteered to ride in the same spot on the way back...
so i could practice my attitude & try to get it right that time ;)
we were greeted by a little guy - maybe 4 yrs old - standing my
himself as we entered the village area. he followed us to the church.
BIG eyes. we find out that his mother left him and father is not a
very good caretaker (we didn't see him) and that this little guy,
Nando, has mental problems. i could also see some physical sores, eyes
weren't quite right, and breathing was raspy at times. anita scooped
him up on her lap and we gathered round to pray. he just looked around
with big eyes, squirming a bit, but settled, even nestled, as we
prayed. he did not speak or try to communicate; just taking it all
with big eyes. as were we. later, after Pastor Jeronimo started our
meeting, Nando made his way over to me, so scooped him up. of course i
wrestled with a few thoughts about the filth and safety of it, but in
the end how can you argue with the voice that says 'God has given us
opportunity to love on this boy and there is such great need. to see
him reach out now for love, putting his arms up around my neck,
touching the buttons on my shirt, how can you turn away from that?'
oh - i forgot to tell you i had grabbed my drum to take along today
and did have a chance to play on it for the first time in the one room
dirt floor mud-packed-for-walls church as our team got settled (but
before the mozambiquens started to come in). it was pretty significant
to me to be playing this drum for the FIRST TIME in this small church
out in the african bush as we prepared to minister. by the time things
got rolling i was holding Nando and so one of our interpreters
(augustino from the dondo church) asked if he could play it. it truly
was an experience to be in the midst of my first african worship time
of singing and dancing and one drummer drumming. it was all raw,
nothing electric, no instruments from the stage, a few ladies and
nearly all the children just gathered in the open area of this room
between the benches where we sat facing forward and the few chairs at
the front for the pastor, etc. but it was loud and true call-response
singing and a lot of feet moving! i did what i could to stand and do
some feet moving wtih Nando in my arms :)
the children's activities went very well, thanks. we had fun outside
in a large group with a ball/circle, some name sharing and 'jesus
loves me and jesus loves you' interaction (in Portuguese), a bed sheet
used for a parachute game where we would take turns going under god's
blessings, an enactment using volunteers of how you can't get to god
on your own ("Q: how do get from here to there but you can't step on
any dirt? A: jesus carries you) and then we ended by handing out
bottles of bubbles. can you believe we had JUST ENOUGH? it was the
same story with the women who were educating about personal hygiene
and handing out packets of shampoo/conditioner - they also thought
they were going to run out but ended up having JUST ENOUGH. EXACTLY -
in both cases exactly. now that gave us goosebumps when we swapped
stories on the ride home!
i think i will end with that. for more of the experience, you simply
must join me next time.
good night, faithful prayers. and thanks for your encouraging replies
as well - nice to hear from you and you are here with me :)
tomorrow - i'll be with the group that stays here. pray for the ones
that go to the other church plant and their various pieces of
sharing/teaching. and pray for us as we may be asked to give our
testimony (i can't find mine that wrote out specifically to work with
translation). we may also attend a baby dedication tomorrow in the
afternoon. if so, this promises to be very powerful - when babies are
born they remain in the home until they have either the church come to
the house to dedicate them to the Lord OR they have a witchdoctor come
(more common) and dedicate them. people here pay witch doctors for
protection, provision, health, to conceive, etc. if you see a child
walking around with a string tied to their wrist or ankle or waist,
their families had them dedicated by a witchdoctor. the power the
witchdoctor pedals is real. but in the end always destroys. well, even
from the beginning it is bondage, even if they do, for example, find a
job or get pregnant. the evil always has its control -- until jesus is
invited into the picture. jesus always wins. He is always more
powerful than the evil one. He already has the victory. we are on the
winning side. we are working to bring more of His light, love, freedom
into people's lives. the battle we fight is real and pretty obvious
here. i was thinking the other day - to take a trip like this is kind
of like "spiritual warfare for dummies". you can't miss it. it is
NIGHT AND DAY to see the differnce in the eyes, on the faces and in
the countenance of the christians here. the ones who don't have jesus
can be very dark as they stare at our truck go by on our way to one of
the Ray of Light projects. satan does not want us here. we want to be
here. we worship god and sing a lot and process together and encourage
one another. and have good leaders to help us. and God is faithful, He
will not lead us where we are not ready to go.
tonight in our group devotions we sang:
if you say go, we will go
if you say wait, we will wait
if you say step out on the water, and they say it cant' be done,
we'll fix our eyes on you and we will come.
continue to pray for our hearts to be affected by the Lord's great
love and He molds and shapes us to be people wtih greater capacity to
carry this love to the ones He loves. and us too.
pray for each person to get what they need each day. we realized
tonight we are a group of introverts and each need to find some time
alone!
wow, this turned into a long email. and of course i didn't even cover
everything!
good night dear friends. please remember to say a quick prayer for our
sleep. we don't take that for granted and it can so effect us to not
be rested for days that are demanding both physically and emotionally.
and i pray the blood of jesus over our dreams too.
blessings and jesus blood cover you too -
jen
10.19.07
the women who sleep in this house (half of us go to a second host
house a little ways down the dirt road) are currently discussing our
morning shower situation. funny how amidst the "big issues" around
here we still can get frustrated by not getting enough time in the
bathroom in the morning...
geckos live here (no creatures inside our house, praise God). i am
enjoying them (outside).
now the women are talking about things like keeping regular...
the food situation so far has been a blessing to me. some cultural,
some not. nothing scary. hamburgers tonight and chips. an added bonus:
janine doens't make us get up early in the morning to sit around a
table and eat breakfast. it's help ourselves to the cereal, yogurt,
make your own eggs, etc. i love her for that. the past 2 mornings i've
taken my Clif bar and apple with me and slept an extra 15 minutes.
now they are wondering what it would take to build a second bathroom
on to this house... they are serious...
tomorrow we are hitting the road to visit a church plant in "the
bush". some of us might stay overnight and visit another one on
sunday. not me. here's my strain of thought about that:
1) no way, i don't want to sleep out in some foreign place, bring me
back home to this what-suddenly-feels-like a luxury bed
2) oh dear, i Should go. not let fear hold me back. i must be
stretched. if i don't want to go then that means i shoudl go. anita
confirms this to me by verbally twisting my arm (i.e. heart) to go
w/her.
3) yes yes that is what i partially signed up to do - be a support to
her and help cover the spiritual stuff in prayer while she preaches,
etc. i love my pastor. i want to lift her up and make this easier for
her.
4) oh man, i have to go. i'm going.
5) later in the day i am talking to janine about my worship team
workshop next saturday. i start putting pieces together of what God's
been stirring in me and speaking to me. i realize i am primarily here
for this workshop and to connect with that team. (secondarily here to
lead my own team in worship and on our journeys throughout this time.
and somewhere after that is that i'm here for anita.) as i'm talking
to janine it becomes clear to me it is critical to my own preparation
that i'm able to meet them and asses where they are before the
workshop, to help me plan, i simply must observe them. i need to be at
church service here this sunday. i decide to not go on the overnight.
this makes sense to janine too.
6) last night as i was laying in bed thinking, God let me know i didn't
have to always choose the hard thing. i could stay back jsut becasue i
didn't want to sleep in the bush. it was ok. that's not the part that's
important to Him here for me. i love Him for that.
7) tonight as janine reviews our plan for this weekend she lists off
the people staying overnight. she doesn't list me. i need to say sorry
and hug anita still...
8) actually we just found out there was a death at one of the plants
and we're not staying overnight. i'll still talk to anita :)
zito, a young christian man involved in the project hooked me up with a
drum today. it is not what i had pictured in my american idealized beautified
mind (like the ones i saw i could buy in the jo'berg airport), but i think it
is what God has in mind for me. it is significant and important to me that i am
acquiring it through a relationship (via janine) here in dondo and he will hand
paint it for me. keep praying for my acquisition of it. i have it now physically.
he will come by on monday to paint it. maybe lacquer it. i need to take it (the
drum) into my heart which feels like it will be a process. which i suppose is a
healthy way to begin a long-term relationship :) i haven't sat down an
played it yet. things aren't quite rolling out as i expected here in
many ways, but they feel like God-ways.
thanks for your continued prayers, friends. the covering of our team
is vitally important. i and half my team go to one of the bush church
plants tomorrow - sharon and i have just been assigned to do a kids'
program there, basically just winging it w/whomever shows up or finds
their way after hearing the commotion. you KNOW i'd love your prayers
on that - but i'm not worried. it'll be fun doing it with sharon :)
then i get to experience my first church service and worship on sunday
with the team in dondo that i'll be workshopping with next saturday.
praise God. PRAY He'll ready me like a sponge and give me wisdom as i
take in what i see and plan for the following weekend. and at the same
time fully experience all He would have just for me to take in for me.
it is an awkward balance most times of giving out and taking in. God
is doing amazing stuff with each one and i'm so proud of how people
are processing and sharing through it. God is so cool.
thanks again, my friends. you are here with me.
humbled and amazed,
jen
house a little ways down the dirt road) are currently discussing our
morning shower situation. funny how amidst the "big issues" around
here we still can get frustrated by not getting enough time in the
bathroom in the morning...
geckos live here (no creatures inside our house, praise God). i am
enjoying them (outside).
now the women are talking about things like keeping regular...
the food situation so far has been a blessing to me. some cultural,
some not. nothing scary. hamburgers tonight and chips. an added bonus:
janine doens't make us get up early in the morning to sit around a
table and eat breakfast. it's help ourselves to the cereal, yogurt,
make your own eggs, etc. i love her for that. the past 2 mornings i've
taken my Clif bar and apple with me and slept an extra 15 minutes.
now they are wondering what it would take to build a second bathroom
on to this house... they are serious...
tomorrow we are hitting the road to visit a church plant in "the
bush". some of us might stay overnight and visit another one on
sunday. not me. here's my strain of thought about that:
1) no way, i don't want to sleep out in some foreign place, bring me
back home to this what-suddenly-feels-like a luxury bed
2) oh dear, i Should go. not let fear hold me back. i must be
stretched. if i don't want to go then that means i shoudl go. anita
confirms this to me by verbally twisting my arm (i.e. heart) to go
w/her.
3) yes yes that is what i partially signed up to do - be a support to
her and help cover the spiritual stuff in prayer while she preaches,
etc. i love my pastor. i want to lift her up and make this easier for
her.
4) oh man, i have to go. i'm going.
5) later in the day i am talking to janine about my worship team
workshop next saturday. i start putting pieces together of what God's
been stirring in me and speaking to me. i realize i am primarily here
for this workshop and to connect with that team. (secondarily here to
lead my own team in worship and on our journeys throughout this time.
and somewhere after that is that i'm here for anita.) as i'm talking
to janine it becomes clear to me it is critical to my own preparation
that i'm able to meet them and asses where they are before the
workshop, to help me plan, i simply must observe them. i need to be at
church service here this sunday. i decide to not go on the overnight.
this makes sense to janine too.
6) last night as i was laying in bed thinking, God let me know i didn't
have to always choose the hard thing. i could stay back jsut becasue i
didn't want to sleep in the bush. it was ok. that's not the part that's
important to Him here for me. i love Him for that.
7) tonight as janine reviews our plan for this weekend she lists off
the people staying overnight. she doesn't list me. i need to say sorry
and hug anita still...
8) actually we just found out there was a death at one of the plants
and we're not staying overnight. i'll still talk to anita :)
zito, a young christian man involved in the project hooked me up with a
drum today. it is not what i had pictured in my american idealized beautified
mind (like the ones i saw i could buy in the jo'berg airport), but i think it
is what God has in mind for me. it is significant and important to me that i am
acquiring it through a relationship (via janine) here in dondo and he will hand
paint it for me. keep praying for my acquisition of it. i have it now physically.
he will come by on monday to paint it. maybe lacquer it. i need to take it (the
drum) into my heart which feels like it will be a process. which i suppose is a
healthy way to begin a long-term relationship :) i haven't sat down an
played it yet. things aren't quite rolling out as i expected here in
many ways, but they feel like God-ways.
thanks for your continued prayers, friends. the covering of our team
is vitally important. i and half my team go to one of the bush church
plants tomorrow - sharon and i have just been assigned to do a kids'
program there, basically just winging it w/whomever shows up or finds
their way after hearing the commotion. you KNOW i'd love your prayers
on that - but i'm not worried. it'll be fun doing it with sharon :)
then i get to experience my first church service and worship on sunday
with the team in dondo that i'll be workshopping with next saturday.
praise God. PRAY He'll ready me like a sponge and give me wisdom as i
take in what i see and plan for the following weekend. and at the same
time fully experience all He would have just for me to take in for me.
it is an awkward balance most times of giving out and taking in. God
is doing amazing stuff with each one and i'm so proud of how people
are processing and sharing through it. God is so cool.
thanks again, my friends. you are here with me.
humbled and amazed,
jen
10.18.07
hello friends
i have a feeling many of my day's subject lines could be "big day".
today we woke up - people slept! THANKS for your kind prayers. but all
are heading to bed exhausted after a full day today, so another set of
prayers for that again, please :) it is strange to hear women that i
admire as STRONG women sharing of their exhaustion and just being
plain SPENT at the end of their day. physically and emotionally. we
don't share that part of ourselves with each other in everyday life,
we are strong and put together for church and social times then we go
home and crash, by ourselves. it is a rare privlege to travel with a
group of people you don't know that well and get to see them at their
best and their worst, strongest and weakest. God pushes the 'weakest'
buttons a lot here. and gets us to His feet - exactly where He needs
us.
many of us spent the morning painting. it seemed like a
straightforward task that we americans like to knock out easily,
accomplish. well, as you might expect (i didn't) that wasn't the case.
all the paint buckets had the same color name printed on them. all
were opened and poured into different paint trays for the crew to use.
all were not the same color. we didn't discover this until different
areas had time to start drying and then we realized... it looked
terrible. splotchy. it challenged and aggrivated us, particularly our
team leader, bless her heart. but God had her there to teach her
something.. now THAT is already a common theme. others of us woek us
this morning thinking "YAY, WE'RE PAINTING TODAY" and ended up sharing
it as their "low" tonight, admitting they struggled with attitude all
morning. it's a hard thing. i want so much for them. but it was a hard
morning. the highlight was when we didn't have extensions and no
ladder tall enought to reach the peak. we wracked and wracked our
brains, finally took a break to eat what the 2 women who were cooking
for the preschool had cooked for us, by the time we turned around to
the painting project one of the nationals had wrigged a long stick
from.. a stick! and somehow screwed on the roller. it amazed and
humbled us :)
i just got a stern mothering from my host here (janine - i love her!)
to get to bed. but can't close without telling you she and i had quite
the afternoon in beira shopping and going to the airport - twice - to
retrieve the lost luggage. it did finally ALL arrive. praise God..
customs however gave us quite a lot of trouble before releasing it. i
stood in the office behind janine while she argued (gently) with
customs officials to let the medicines and batteries go through. she
would not give them what they really wanted (money). early on she
turned to me under breath and asked if i was praying. i don't remember
being in what felt like such a serious prayer situation. i prayed as
if the outcome of this depended on it. at one point they were holding
the bottle of vitamins from her and i just thought NO THESE ARE FOR
PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES WE MIGHT SAVE. ugh.
everything made it through. we scooted quickly out.
but then we got stopped not 2 miles down the road by a police officer.
doing random stops. i guess he claimed janine made an illegeal traffic
move. never once did i think that anyone was even watching that kind
of stuff the way peopel drive around here. it was so bogus. again she
turned in seriousness to me - "pray". again, what a privlege it was to
be that person at that time. to pray. again, we passed through with no
consequences after a bunch of talking in portugese.
i really must close. but thanks so much for yoru prayers. keep them
coming. many of the team members shared highs and lows that involved
"big stuff" too. seeing women waiting in the clinic for meds, sick.
waiting in line for food, taking 3 bites and giving the rest of the
plate to her five children. strong women. they are impacting us. cathy
and sharon shared their testimonies in the church service tonight.
POWERFUL. sorry to say i missed it because we had to wait for a second
plane to arrive as only 7 of the 9 lost bags came in this afternoon.
but they were SO pumped. a high for many tonight. God is so good. i
believe both of them had temporarily lost their testimonies due to
delayed luggage but prayed and stepped out in faith. God met them, and
the people in an awesome way. wow - praise god. gracas a Deus!!
must close. so much happens each day. but good night for now. have a
good evening, i think it's like 4:30pm there.
tomorrwo we start with painting again. pray for a fresh day :)
with love and amazment,
jen
p.s. we did not find a drum in beira today, but i thnk God is brewing
up a special one for me... we did make a connection with someone today
who says he can get me one.
i have a feeling many of my day's subject lines could be "big day".
today we woke up - people slept! THANKS for your kind prayers. but all
are heading to bed exhausted after a full day today, so another set of
prayers for that again, please :) it is strange to hear women that i
admire as STRONG women sharing of their exhaustion and just being
plain SPENT at the end of their day. physically and emotionally. we
don't share that part of ourselves with each other in everyday life,
we are strong and put together for church and social times then we go
home and crash, by ourselves. it is a rare privlege to travel with a
group of people you don't know that well and get to see them at their
best and their worst, strongest and weakest. God pushes the 'weakest'
buttons a lot here. and gets us to His feet - exactly where He needs
us.
many of us spent the morning painting. it seemed like a
straightforward task that we americans like to knock out easily,
accomplish. well, as you might expect (i didn't) that wasn't the case.
all the paint buckets had the same color name printed on them. all
were opened and poured into different paint trays for the crew to use.
all were not the same color. we didn't discover this until different
areas had time to start drying and then we realized... it looked
terrible. splotchy. it challenged and aggrivated us, particularly our
team leader, bless her heart. but God had her there to teach her
something.. now THAT is already a common theme. others of us woek us
this morning thinking "YAY, WE'RE PAINTING TODAY" and ended up sharing
it as their "low" tonight, admitting they struggled with attitude all
morning. it's a hard thing. i want so much for them. but it was a hard
morning. the highlight was when we didn't have extensions and no
ladder tall enought to reach the peak. we wracked and wracked our
brains, finally took a break to eat what the 2 women who were cooking
for the preschool had cooked for us, by the time we turned around to
the painting project one of the nationals had wrigged a long stick
from.. a stick! and somehow screwed on the roller. it amazed and
humbled us :)
i just got a stern mothering from my host here (janine - i love her!)
to get to bed. but can't close without telling you she and i had quite
the afternoon in beira shopping and going to the airport - twice - to
retrieve the lost luggage. it did finally ALL arrive. praise God..
customs however gave us quite a lot of trouble before releasing it. i
stood in the office behind janine while she argued (gently) with
customs officials to let the medicines and batteries go through. she
would not give them what they really wanted (money). early on she
turned to me under breath and asked if i was praying. i don't remember
being in what felt like such a serious prayer situation. i prayed as
if the outcome of this depended on it. at one point they were holding
the bottle of vitamins from her and i just thought NO THESE ARE FOR
PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES WE MIGHT SAVE. ugh.
everything made it through. we scooted quickly out.
but then we got stopped not 2 miles down the road by a police officer.
doing random stops. i guess he claimed janine made an illegeal traffic
move. never once did i think that anyone was even watching that kind
of stuff the way peopel drive around here. it was so bogus. again she
turned in seriousness to me - "pray". again, what a privlege it was to
be that person at that time. to pray. again, we passed through with no
consequences after a bunch of talking in portugese.
i really must close. but thanks so much for yoru prayers. keep them
coming. many of the team members shared highs and lows that involved
"big stuff" too. seeing women waiting in the clinic for meds, sick.
waiting in line for food, taking 3 bites and giving the rest of the
plate to her five children. strong women. they are impacting us. cathy
and sharon shared their testimonies in the church service tonight.
POWERFUL. sorry to say i missed it because we had to wait for a second
plane to arrive as only 7 of the 9 lost bags came in this afternoon.
but they were SO pumped. a high for many tonight. God is so good. i
believe both of them had temporarily lost their testimonies due to
delayed luggage but prayed and stepped out in faith. God met them, and
the people in an awesome way. wow - praise god. gracas a Deus!!
must close. so much happens each day. but good night for now. have a
good evening, i think it's like 4:30pm there.
tomorrwo we start with painting again. pray for a fresh day :)
with love and amazment,
jen
p.s. we did not find a drum in beira today, but i thnk God is brewing
up a special one for me... we did make a connection with someone today
who says he can get me one.
10.17.07
hello, support team -
so today where did i take you, you ask? well, we toured the different
parts of the Ray of Light project and then in to town for culture
education (and shopping!).
it was a difficult dichotomy to drive through the poorest parts of
town, taking in the poverty i saw, the huts they lived in right along
the dirt road, the boy showering outside, the thin thin animals, while
at the same time riding in the back of the truck and being greeted so
joyfully from kids and adults alike that would smile and wave and "ta
ta" as we drove past. it challenged my thinking as to WHAT do people
really need to be happy. i know here the poverty is strong and
happiness is not constant, but it is there in the playing and seeing
new americans.
our first stop was the preschool. oh my were those kids just what the
doctor ordered. smiles and greetings and handshakes as we piled out.
then in the classroom they sat smartly at their little desks and sang
a song for us - once in portugeuse, once in english. some of us sat
down next to kids where there was room. i sat behind a little girl who
turned quietly around as the teacher (and our teacher) spoke, and
batted her eyelashes at me. pretty soon we had a winking game going
on... blink.. blink back... blink... blink back... then i winked one
eye... she blinked.. i tried again very intentionally... she got it!
and winked back and with a big grin. i had completely lost sense of
what was being talked about at the front and when i did realize maybe
be shoudl pay attention i found it very hard to want to... :) ;) ;) ;)
and so on...
a few thoughts on life here to close up and then must head to bed for
lights out --
> it is very dusty here, especially riding in the back of the truck!
> we wear deet all the time
> and drink lots of water
> we saw jellyfish washed up on the shore of the Indian ocean as we strolled along the beach waiting for our food to cook
> we went in 3 capalana shops today
> and spent all the money we were alloted on our first shopping day
> we did not find me a drum
please pray for... a drum :)
>> and the wisdom, courage, guidance to play it (when, where, etc).
spiritual warfare is a very real thing here. sometimes you hear
witchdoctors' ceremonies marked by drumming all through the night. i
have not yet. but i might. and i want to know how to respond. so far
the simple act of coming together each night and worshipping God has
been powerful
>> pray for the ones who spiritual warfare is a new concept. so far we
have only talked about it and heard stories. tomorrow will be our
first day of 'work' out in the community.
>> a good portion of our luggage has still not arrived. it shoudl come
in tomorrow... but we're pretty cool about the whole thing. sharing
toiletries, clothes... underware.. as needed. we really do have
everything we need. (we really don't need much). but there are also
gifts, tools, and meds that need to arrive.
>> that god would clarify our own particular 'jobs' here and give us
the confidence and abilities to carry them out. please pray for my
preparation to lead a worship workshop. in the meantime i'll be
painting, teachign powerpoint, serving soup, and praying and doiing my
best to love on people.
>> also, PLEASE pray for the team members' sleep. several said they
did not sleep more than an hour last night. we need to catch up
tonight. and woudl someone please tell the roosters they're not
supposed to wake up until dawn!
love to you all -
Boa noite (good evening!)
worship leader jen
so today where did i take you, you ask? well, we toured the different
parts of the Ray of Light project and then in to town for culture
education (and shopping!).
it was a difficult dichotomy to drive through the poorest parts of
town, taking in the poverty i saw, the huts they lived in right along
the dirt road, the boy showering outside, the thin thin animals, while
at the same time riding in the back of the truck and being greeted so
joyfully from kids and adults alike that would smile and wave and "ta
ta" as we drove past. it challenged my thinking as to WHAT do people
really need to be happy. i know here the poverty is strong and
happiness is not constant, but it is there in the playing and seeing
new americans.
our first stop was the preschool. oh my were those kids just what the
doctor ordered. smiles and greetings and handshakes as we piled out.
then in the classroom they sat smartly at their little desks and sang
a song for us - once in portugeuse, once in english. some of us sat
down next to kids where there was room. i sat behind a little girl who
turned quietly around as the teacher (and our teacher) spoke, and
batted her eyelashes at me. pretty soon we had a winking game going
on... blink.. blink back... blink... blink back... then i winked one
eye... she blinked.. i tried again very intentionally... she got it!
and winked back and with a big grin. i had completely lost sense of
what was being talked about at the front and when i did realize maybe
be shoudl pay attention i found it very hard to want to... :) ;) ;) ;)
and so on...
a few thoughts on life here to close up and then must head to bed for
lights out --
> it is very dusty here, especially riding in the back of the truck!
> we wear deet all the time
> and drink lots of water
> we saw jellyfish washed up on the shore of the Indian ocean as we strolled along the beach waiting for our food to cook
> we went in 3 capalana shops today
> and spent all the money we were alloted on our first shopping day
> we did not find me a drum
please pray for... a drum :)
>> and the wisdom, courage, guidance to play it (when, where, etc).
spiritual warfare is a very real thing here. sometimes you hear
witchdoctors' ceremonies marked by drumming all through the night. i
have not yet. but i might. and i want to know how to respond. so far
the simple act of coming together each night and worshipping God has
been powerful
>> pray for the ones who spiritual warfare is a new concept. so far we
have only talked about it and heard stories. tomorrow will be our
first day of 'work' out in the community.
>> a good portion of our luggage has still not arrived. it shoudl come
in tomorrow... but we're pretty cool about the whole thing. sharing
toiletries, clothes... underware.. as needed. we really do have
everything we need. (we really don't need much). but there are also
gifts, tools, and meds that need to arrive.
>> that god would clarify our own particular 'jobs' here and give us
the confidence and abilities to carry them out. please pray for my
preparation to lead a worship workshop. in the meantime i'll be
painting, teachign powerpoint, serving soup, and praying and doiing my
best to love on people.
>> also, PLEASE pray for the team members' sleep. several said they
did not sleep more than an hour last night. we need to catch up
tonight. and woudl someone please tell the roosters they're not
supposed to wake up until dawn!
love to you all -
Boa noite (good evening!)
worship leader jen
10.16.07
hi prayer team
thanks SO MUCH for your prayers - we made it! it was amazing in so
many ways. there were snags, but nothing ruffled our spirits, we took
everything in stride. We could feel God's hand on us by the peace and
joy and unity we had/have. the house we stayed in last night at j'berg
was like a bed and breakfast - a real treat to get pampered on our
first night. tonight we sleep with mosquito nets :) but it's really a
wonderful place here, too. i dont' have time to write much, must get
to bed and continue to be diligent to acclamiate to the new time zone,
our day starts early tomorrow!
our prayer and worship times have been very sweet. we anticipate great
things with God here. and much individual stretching and growing.
people have shared personal hopes and dreams, and struggles, and
missing family. i wish i had time to recount some specifics, you'd be
blessed and encouraged too... hmmm.. what can i share r4eal quick...
well everything from God producing a lost boarding ticket 'out of thin
air' to putting expectations in some for raising the dead. not
kidding. we really thinking anything can happen and we're ready to be
available :)
tomorrow we are goign to tour the ministry sites adn then go into the
city of beira to live in the language, the culture, start to do some
shopping, eat seafood by the beach as we talk about the specific
ministry/service roles each of us will be playing. more training and
team building tomorrwo ngiht.
ugh, this still feels so generic, i wish i had time to share my heart,
but need to be disciplined with mhy time. i love and miss you all -
you are my family. when people are calling home to their spouse, kids,
etc i am longing for the internet so i can get thsi out to you. thansk
so much for your kind love and support... your are my family in this
adventure and i'm happy to get to bring you all with ;)
praying for God's great work in each of you right where you are too -
i'll write again soon,
jen
thanks SO MUCH for your prayers - we made it! it was amazing in so
many ways. there were snags, but nothing ruffled our spirits, we took
everything in stride. We could feel God's hand on us by the peace and
joy and unity we had/have. the house we stayed in last night at j'berg
was like a bed and breakfast - a real treat to get pampered on our
first night. tonight we sleep with mosquito nets :) but it's really a
wonderful place here, too. i dont' have time to write much, must get
to bed and continue to be diligent to acclamiate to the new time zone,
our day starts early tomorrow!
our prayer and worship times have been very sweet. we anticipate great
things with God here. and much individual stretching and growing.
people have shared personal hopes and dreams, and struggles, and
missing family. i wish i had time to recount some specifics, you'd be
blessed and encouraged too... hmmm.. what can i share r4eal quick...
well everything from God producing a lost boarding ticket 'out of thin
air' to putting expectations in some for raising the dead. not
kidding. we really thinking anything can happen and we're ready to be
available :)
tomorrow we are goign to tour the ministry sites adn then go into the
city of beira to live in the language, the culture, start to do some
shopping, eat seafood by the beach as we talk about the specific
ministry/service roles each of us will be playing. more training and
team building tomorrwo ngiht.
ugh, this still feels so generic, i wish i had time to share my heart,
but need to be disciplined with mhy time. i love and miss you all -
you are my family. when people are calling home to their spouse, kids,
etc i am longing for the internet so i can get thsi out to you. thansk
so much for your kind love and support... your are my family in this
adventure and i'm happy to get to bring you all with ;)
praying for God's great work in each of you right where you are too -
i'll write again soon,
jen
10.10.07
Hello wonderful prayer team (friends) -
my installment for today is a story....
OK, so last night i was coming home from work time (on time - i love
my new boss!) and as i pulled up to my apartment i starting to become
overwhelmed and emotional. not sure why. wasn't thinking of anything
in particular, just what the rest of my night might look like -- my
last "free" night before going. the rest are booked. i had some
shopping i still needed to do... for my africa trip... africa... i'm
goign to africa... woah. this little feeling of panic and realization
started to hit me in the pit of my stomach. panic. it's the kind of
panic that starts to overtake me when i feel completely out of
control. you see, i am someone who likes to have a controlled
environment around me, calculated risks, see and evaluate before i
take a step in, but NONE OF THAT is possible with this trip. as much
good prep as we've gotten about where we're staying and what we might
see, you really can 'explain africa' and the devestation of aids and
poverty, the joy of african worhsip, the power of witchcraft, the
power of God, to someone - until you experience it.
so i decide regardless of my to-do list i had to put at the top of it
"GO FOR A BIKE RIDE. NOW." so i grabbed my ipod and headed for a
forest preserve trail by brookfield/la grange. my bike and this trail
have become friends of mine. when i got there the sun was halfway down
and the place was pretty quiet. i headed east on the trail from my
usual starting point. (this is the direction i go when i don't have
much time and the sun is goign down, it runs by more houses, more
populated.) it was good to get my legs moving and get into a rhythm. i
also had some 'soak' music flowing through my ear buds, straight to my
soul. i began to let the music, the movement of the biking, and the
immersion in nature wash over me.
quicker than usual i got to the 17th street bridge - this is where i
normally stop, evauate the sun's rate of decent, and turn around to
head back. but somethign in me just wasn't ready to do that. so i
crossed 17th street - my first time goign this far in this direction.
what would i find over here? what i found was the water was now on my
right side, closer to the trail, in fact running right alongside. the
forest on the left seemed much deeper and more still. even though i
knew we were still in a residentail area, i was no longer aware of the
houses nearby. here i really felt immersed. the trees around me were
like a canopy of God's kingdom over me. at one point i stopped and had
5 deer grazing quietly on one side and the running stream on my other.
i closed my eyes and took it in. the music was singing in my ear about
being royalty and a daughter of the King. i was surrounded. i was
thinking of nothing but me in God.
the sun was going down, so i got back on the trail to head back. the
ride back i found myself feeling so free, so happy. almost like giddy
- i wanted to ride in a crooked line and jump over bumps... i started
trying to ride without hands! so cautiously, but so free and eager at
the same time. i wanted to ride in TRUST and newness. i knew God would
be with me in africa and i'd have to ride with no hands many times. it
was so fun to try and to grow more bold in the trying. before i knew
it i was back to the parking lot. i wasn't ready to stop so i kept
trying out my new freedom and boldness around the parking lot, then i
would ride off into the grass, through little ditches and duck under
the big trees.
...an hour well spent.
this morning i woke up, laying in bed, thinking again about my day and
final preparations... to go to AFRICA.. and that little panic started
to rear its ugly head again. you see, that is naturally who i am, and
that human part of my make up will never competely go away, but i can
snuff it out over and over again with my trust in God, with my
choosing His promises and care for me and plan for me. would you pray
that i have the ability to do that each time it creeps up in me? would
you pray for God's peace to be strong in me, constantly?
thank you friends for going with me on this journey.
[TONIGHT: open prayer time for the africa team at VOP from 9-10pm.
join us if you can!]
love,
God's jen
my installment for today is a story....
OK, so last night i was coming home from work time (on time - i love
my new boss!) and as i pulled up to my apartment i starting to become
overwhelmed and emotional. not sure why. wasn't thinking of anything
in particular, just what the rest of my night might look like -- my
last "free" night before going. the rest are booked. i had some
shopping i still needed to do... for my africa trip... africa... i'm
goign to africa... woah. this little feeling of panic and realization
started to hit me in the pit of my stomach. panic. it's the kind of
panic that starts to overtake me when i feel completely out of
control. you see, i am someone who likes to have a controlled
environment around me, calculated risks, see and evaluate before i
take a step in, but NONE OF THAT is possible with this trip. as much
good prep as we've gotten about where we're staying and what we might
see, you really can 'explain africa' and the devestation of aids and
poverty, the joy of african worhsip, the power of witchcraft, the
power of God, to someone - until you experience it.
so i decide regardless of my to-do list i had to put at the top of it
"GO FOR A BIKE RIDE. NOW." so i grabbed my ipod and headed for a
forest preserve trail by brookfield/la grange. my bike and this trail
have become friends of mine. when i got there the sun was halfway down
and the place was pretty quiet. i headed east on the trail from my
usual starting point. (this is the direction i go when i don't have
much time and the sun is goign down, it runs by more houses, more
populated.) it was good to get my legs moving and get into a rhythm. i
also had some 'soak' music flowing through my ear buds, straight to my
soul. i began to let the music, the movement of the biking, and the
immersion in nature wash over me.
quicker than usual i got to the 17th street bridge - this is where i
normally stop, evauate the sun's rate of decent, and turn around to
head back. but somethign in me just wasn't ready to do that. so i
crossed 17th street - my first time goign this far in this direction.
what would i find over here? what i found was the water was now on my
right side, closer to the trail, in fact running right alongside. the
forest on the left seemed much deeper and more still. even though i
knew we were still in a residentail area, i was no longer aware of the
houses nearby. here i really felt immersed. the trees around me were
like a canopy of God's kingdom over me. at one point i stopped and had
5 deer grazing quietly on one side and the running stream on my other.
i closed my eyes and took it in. the music was singing in my ear about
being royalty and a daughter of the King. i was surrounded. i was
thinking of nothing but me in God.
the sun was going down, so i got back on the trail to head back. the
ride back i found myself feeling so free, so happy. almost like giddy
- i wanted to ride in a crooked line and jump over bumps... i started
trying to ride without hands! so cautiously, but so free and eager at
the same time. i wanted to ride in TRUST and newness. i knew God would
be with me in africa and i'd have to ride with no hands many times. it
was so fun to try and to grow more bold in the trying. before i knew
it i was back to the parking lot. i wasn't ready to stop so i kept
trying out my new freedom and boldness around the parking lot, then i
would ride off into the grass, through little ditches and duck under
the big trees.
...an hour well spent.
this morning i woke up, laying in bed, thinking again about my day and
final preparations... to go to AFRICA.. and that little panic started
to rear its ugly head again. you see, that is naturally who i am, and
that human part of my make up will never competely go away, but i can
snuff it out over and over again with my trust in God, with my
choosing His promises and care for me and plan for me. would you pray
that i have the ability to do that each time it creeps up in me? would
you pray for God's peace to be strong in me, constantly?
thank you friends for going with me on this journey.
[TONIGHT: open prayer time for the africa team at VOP from 9-10pm.
join us if you can!]
love,
God's jen
10.04.07
hi, my Africa prayer team!
quick update:
i finally sat down and wrote out my testimony on saturday afteroon to
present to the team sunday morning. it went great. what a blessing. i
was able to do it in bite sized pieces, too, for the translator :)
thanks for your prayers.
my role in Dondo is getting clearer (in teaching music). it's more
about "worship" than just being a music teacher. and it's more about
just being me, not playing a role. funny that. please pray that God
continues to show me who i am and the unique way He's prepared me to
go and be me.
it's also about that i'm a warrior but my shield and sword are a drum
and a cymbal!! i can't wait to get over there and just play. that
feels like "me". but still awaiting vision/direction on any
preparations for classes, etc i should do before going. please pray
God continues to reveal His plans for me.
the team received some amazing prophetic prayer from rachel
and a few friends at anita's house tonight. i would love to share it
and/or my testimony with you sometime.
thanks for your support. please pray for my family's covering as i go,
especially my sister who is having some tests done to investigate some
numbness she's been dealing with for a while now. i think the hardest
part about going for me is leaving her and our 9-month, almost-walking Abe.
also say a prayer for my dad to get a bone marrow donor?
love you all,
jen
btw - my new boss, nathan, is wonderful. he's God's gift to me in this
new season. it's been a very hard transition out of my years as Office
Manager. but he finally started on monday and i already have been so
so blessed by him and can see glimpses of the freedom of what's ahead
for me as "executive assistant". God is good and knows what i need!
quick update:
i finally sat down and wrote out my testimony on saturday afteroon to
present to the team sunday morning. it went great. what a blessing. i
was able to do it in bite sized pieces, too, for the translator :)
thanks for your prayers.
my role in Dondo is getting clearer (in teaching music). it's more
about "worship" than just being a music teacher. and it's more about
just being me, not playing a role. funny that. please pray that God
continues to show me who i am and the unique way He's prepared me to
go and be me.
it's also about that i'm a warrior but my shield and sword are a drum
and a cymbal!! i can't wait to get over there and just play. that
feels like "me". but still awaiting vision/direction on any
preparations for classes, etc i should do before going. please pray
God continues to reveal His plans for me.
the team received some amazing prophetic prayer from rachel
and a few friends at anita's house tonight. i would love to share it
and/or my testimony with you sometime.
thanks for your support. please pray for my family's covering as i go,
especially my sister who is having some tests done to investigate some
numbness she's been dealing with for a while now. i think the hardest
part about going for me is leaving her and our 9-month, almost-walking Abe.
also say a prayer for my dad to get a bone marrow donor?
love you all,
jen
btw - my new boss, nathan, is wonderful. he's God's gift to me in this
new season. it's been a very hard transition out of my years as Office
Manager. but he finally started on monday and i already have been so
so blessed by him and can see glimpses of the freedom of what's ahead
for me as "executive assistant". God is good and knows what i need!
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