10.19.07

the women who sleep in this house (half of us go to a second host
house a little ways down the dirt road) are currently discussing our
morning shower situation. funny how amidst the "big issues" around
here we still can get frustrated by not getting enough time in the
bathroom in the morning...

geckos live here (no creatures inside our house, praise God). i am
enjoying them (outside).

now the women are talking about things like keeping regular...

the food situation so far has been a blessing to me. some cultural,
some not. nothing scary. hamburgers tonight and chips. an added bonus:
janine doens't make us get up early in the morning to sit around a
table and eat breakfast. it's help ourselves to the cereal, yogurt,
make your own eggs, etc. i love her for that. the past 2 mornings i've
taken my Clif bar and apple with me and slept an extra 15 minutes.

now they are wondering what it would take to build a second bathroom
on to this house... they are serious...

tomorrow we are hitting the road to visit a church plant in "the
bush". some of us might stay overnight and visit another one on
sunday. not me. here's my strain of thought about that:

1) no way, i don't want to sleep out in some foreign place, bring me
back home to this what-suddenly-feels-like a luxury bed

2) oh dear, i Should go. not let fear hold me back. i must be
stretched. if i don't want to go then that means i shoudl go. anita
confirms this to me by verbally twisting my arm (i.e. heart) to go
w/her.

3) yes yes that is what i partially signed up to do - be a support to
her and help cover the spiritual stuff in prayer while she preaches,
etc. i love my pastor. i want to lift her up and make this easier for
her.

4) oh man, i have to go. i'm going.

5) later in the day i am talking to janine about my worship team
workshop next saturday. i start putting pieces together of what God's
been stirring in me and speaking to me. i realize i am primarily here
for this workshop and to connect with that team. (secondarily here to
lead my own team in worship and on our journeys throughout this time.
and somewhere after that is that i'm here for anita.) as i'm talking
to janine it becomes clear to me it is critical to my own preparation
that i'm able to meet them and asses where they are before the
workshop, to help me plan, i simply must observe them. i need to be at
church service here this sunday. i decide to not go on the overnight.
this makes sense to janine too.

6) last night as i was laying in bed thinking, God let me know i didn't
have to always choose the hard thing. i could stay back jsut becasue i
didn't want to sleep in the bush. it was ok. that's not the part that's
important to Him here for me. i love Him for that.

7) tonight as janine reviews our plan for this weekend she lists off
the people staying overnight. she doesn't list me. i need to say sorry
and hug anita still...

8) actually we just found out there was a death at one of the plants
and we're not staying overnight. i'll still talk to anita :)

zito, a young christian man involved in the project hooked me up with a
drum today. it is not what i had pictured in my american idealized beautified
mind (like the ones i saw i could buy in the jo'berg airport), but i think it
is what God has in mind for me. it is significant and important to me that i am
acquiring it through a relationship (via janine) here in dondo and he will hand
paint it for me. keep praying for my acquisition of it. i have it now physically.
he will come by on monday to paint it. maybe lacquer it. i need to take it (the
drum) into my heart which feels like it will be a process. which i suppose is a
healthy way to begin a long-term relationship :) i haven't sat down an
played it yet. things aren't quite rolling out as i expected here in
many ways, but they feel like God-ways.

thanks for your continued prayers, friends. the covering of our team
is vitally important. i and half my team go to one of the bush church
plants tomorrow - sharon and i have just been assigned to do a kids'
program there, basically just winging it w/whomever shows up or finds
their way after hearing the commotion. you KNOW i'd love your prayers
on that - but i'm not worried. it'll be fun doing it with sharon :)

then i get to experience my first church service and worship on sunday
with the team in dondo that i'll be workshopping with next saturday.
praise God. PRAY He'll ready me like a sponge and give me wisdom as i
take in what i see and plan for the following weekend. and at the same
time fully experience all He would have just for me to take in for me.
it is an awkward balance most times of giving out and taking in. God
is doing amazing stuff with each one and i'm so proud of how people
are processing and sharing through it. God is so cool.

thanks again, my friends. you are here with me.

humbled and amazed,
jen